Capricorn

Eight

Hindi ko alam kung paano ihahandle ang nararamdaman ko. This was the first time I've ever felt this. Jealousy is the term and it's embarrassing to admit that so I pushed it aside. I'll just call it an abnormal feeling. Hindi ko naman din kasi dapat nararamdaman ito dahil wala akong karapatan.

Kaya naman ginawa ko ang pinaka-childish na akto. Ang iwasan siya.

It wasn't because I don't like him anymore. Gusto ko lang muna sanang ayusin ang nararamdaman ko bago ako muling humarap sa kanya. I don't want to be all whiny and distant while I'm with him. I should be on my perfect disposition. I need to be composed.

"That's your third canvas. Ayos ka lang ba?"

I sighed for the nth time. Tinignan ko ang nagkalat na papel sa lamesang gamit namin ni Georgina dito sa study room. We agreed to do our assignments together for our subject tomorrow. The subject is Art Appreciation and we were tasked to draw an architectural style we like. Georgina chose modern while I chose to do Renaissance.

Honestly, I don't even know why weren't doing this. We are Legal Management majors, for Pete's sake! Mukha ba kaming Architect major para ipagawa 'to sa amin?!

"Huwag mong ibunton ang pangungulila mo kay Dark Rockwell dyan sa canvas mo. Why don't you just meet him and end your suffering? Dalawang linggo ka nang umiiwas."

Nakasimangot kong nilingon si Georgina na nasa shading part na ng drawing niya. She's drawing a bungalow style house and I notice how she specifically pays attention to the details of the garden. Kulang na lang ay palibutan niya ng mga halaman ang bahay.

"I'm not ready yet." Mahinang sambit ko. "I'll talk to him before this weekend, probably."

Naiiling na binato niya ako ng scratch paper niya kung saan siya nag-layout. Tumama iyon sa mukha ko kaya mas lalo akong sumimangot.

"Ganyan din ang litanya mo nung nakaraang linggo, Nat."

Napanguso ako. Nang-aasar ang tingin niya sa akin kaya umiwas ako. I focus on my fourth canvas for today, this time with an intention to make a perfect renaissance architectural design. Kailangan kong matapos 'to dahil bukas na ang pasahan namin. Both Georgina and I decided to procrastinate on minor subjects. Yes, we both decided to be lazy. We're that compatible na pati pagdating sa katamaran ay magkasundo rin.

And thank god I did well on my fourth canvas. I was satisfied with the outcome. It was perfect in my eyes.

"Bakit hindi ka na lang mag architecture? E'di sana wala akong karibal sa room pagdating sa recits at exams." Pabirong asik ni Georgina sa akin nang masilip ang gawa ko.

"Pang architecture din naman yung gawa mo. Why don't we shift courses?" Pagsasakay ko sa kanya.

"E'di magkaribal pa rin tayo no'n?!" Sabay kaming natawa sa sariling biruan.

Kinabukasan ay maaga ang pasok ko. Today I have the most irritating schedule. My class starts at 8 AM and will end at 11 AM, then the next one would be at 3 PM. The time gap makes me sleepy and tired. Ayoko naman umuwi ng bahay dahil mas tatamarin lang akong pumasok sa afternoon class ko!

The class ended early. Not even past 10 AM! Bagot na bagot akong tumambay sa pinakadulo ng library para magpalipas ng oras. Georgina went home since mahaba pa ang oras bago ang pangalawa naming klase. Unlike me, she has duties so she needs to go home.

Sinadya ko na sa dulo at tagong pwesto umupo para kung aantukin ako ay pwede akong yumuko para matulog. Library is the perfect napping place here since it's cold and quiet. Nagbasa muna ako ng libro tungkol sa isang major subject ko. It was pretty interesting so it took two hours before I got bored. Nagsimula na akong antukin kaya tumigil na ako at nakinig na lang ng music.

The sofa was comfortable enough to sleep. May throw pillow din kaya mas comfortable humiga. I didn't lie down though. Hindi pwede 'yon kaya sumandal lang ako. Yakap ang unan, I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

I woke up with a feeling of fingers brushing on my hair. It felt good. Lalo akong hinihila ng antok sa paraan ng paghagod ng mga daliring 'yon sa buhok ko. Bukod doon ay mas komportable na ang pwesto ko. I'm leaning on something. Perhaps, Georgina saw me here and she sat beside me to make me comfortable?

Napangiti ako. "Thanks, Gia..." I murmured.

Yumakap ako sa braso niya ngunit agad na nagtaka nang maramdaman ang pagiging maskulado no'n. Kailan pa naging masculine si Georgina? Pinisil ko pa ang braso para mas makasigurado. It felt hot and veiny. May relo pa akong naramdaman at nang makarating ang kamay ko sa palad, naramdaman ko ang laki no'n kumpara sa kamay ko.

I heard a chuckle followed by the hand claiming my small one. Sinakop ng malaking kamay ang kamay ko, at doon lang ako tuluyang dumilat. This is not Georgina! She doesn't like skinship so it's impossible!

"I didn't know you like hugging when you sleep."

Bumalikwas ako nang makita ang gwapong mukha ni Dark malapit sa akin. Namilog ang mata ko sa gulat. I immediately slide on my right side to put distance between us, only to slide back to my place when he pulled me back using my hand he's holding. Leather ang upuan kaya madulas at madali niya akong nahila. I gasped nang mahina akong tumama sa gilid niya.

"Running away again?" He whispered playfully with a hint of seriousness.

Napalunok ako. He knows I'm avoiding him! But how?!

Alanganin akong ngumiti at dahan dahang umiling. "H-Huh? Hindi, ah! Who's running away?" Pilit akong tumawa. "Not me!"

Nahigit ko ang hininga ko nang bigla niyang tinukod ang libre niyang kamay sa sinasandalan ko, trapping me in place. Halos mapapikit ako sa bawat pagtama ng mainit niyang hininga sa mukha ko. His breath smells good! Kung bakit ko napuna 'yon ay hindi ko din alam.

"I just saw you yesterday on the field. You ran when you saw me and my team practicing."

I bit my lower lip and smiled guiltily. Magaling akong magsinungaling but for some reason, I don't want to lie to him. So I ended up telling the truth.

"I-I just thought you were pissed at me for connecting with your twin brother on Instagram and Facebook..." That's partly true so I wasn't lying. "I don't know what to say to you so I just avoided you. Hindi naman forever 'yon! I will speak with you before this week ends naman..." Then I pout.

Ilang sigundo pa siyang tumitig sa akin. I look away. I can feel the heat crawling up on my cheeks mula sa pag-amin ko. Isama pa ang lapit namin sa isa't isa. Halos maging isa na ako sa sofa sa sobrang diin ng pagkakasandal ko para lang magkaroon ng distansya sa pagitan namin.

"Alright."

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang lumayo na siya. Mukhang tinanggap niya ang mga rason ko dahil umaliwalas na ang mukha niya. He looks relieved. May ngiti na ngayon ang mga labi niya.

"I thought you were avoiding me because of what I said before you dropped the call..." Buntong hininga niya.

Nagtataka ko siyang tinignan. " Ano bang sinabi mo? I think the signal wasn't good 'cause I didn't hear it." I lied.

Ayokong sabihin na sobrang apektado ako sa narinig kong confession niya tungkol sa kaibigan niyang si Ranali. Hindi pa ako handang magpakatotoo sa parteng 'yon.

" You didn't hear me?"

Bumalik ang pagkakakunot ng noo niya. At first he looks displeased. Bumuntong hininga pa siya, but then he nod and smile again after a few seconds.

"It's okay. Marami pa namang pagkakataon."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Pagkakataon for what?"

But instead of answering, he just smiled mysteriously.

𝕃𝕌ℕ𝔸
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