Always You (L.S)

The results: 34

HARRY'S POV:

Louis and I sat beside one another, as we waited in the waiting room for our names to be called. Louis had been avoiding eye contact with me the entire time, he was nervous, I tried to hold his hand, but he would always replace it by kissing me on the cheek. You would think that would make me feel better, however, I knew it was just a ploy so that I would ignore the obvious.

I had never seen him like this, so quiet. Each of us provided blood, and urine samples for all sorts of tests the other day, he was also quite detached from me that day. When we returned home that day, it went back to normal...I think.

He was playful, we even had a little fun together, but when I asked him if he was okay, he would always push me away. He tried to make it seem like he was, but I know Louis, he never gets like this, ever.

I looked up from my phone screen to Louis, who was also scrolling through his phone. I took a minute to examine him. His leg was shaking, his hands fiddling with his phone case, he was having nervous ticks. I sighed as I reached for Louis' hand, only for my hand to be pushed away.

"Louis..?" I mumbled, Louis looked at me with a distressed look. I couldn't tell what was on his mind, it was in moments like these where I wish I could just reach into his little mind and see what was going on in there.

"Sor-" Louis tried apologizing, only to be cut off from the nurse.

"Louis and Harry Tomlinson?" The nurse called out, it made my heart jump. Harry Tomlinson...that sounded way too well.

I smiled at the thought of it, for the first time as I began standing up, Louis held my hand as we followed the nurse to the examination room. Louis and I sat on the examination table, the nurse examining the both of us, asking the normal questions they always do.

"The doctor will be right in with you two," The nurse said, giving us a small smile just before exiting the room. Louis' hand left mine, making my heart sink.

Louis hopped off the table, buckling his belt again, I sighed at the sight of him. "Louis..are you okay..?" I asked him nervously, hoping he wouldn't push me away.

Louis turned to face me, we held eye contact for a few seconds just before he sighed, making his way to me. He placed himself between my legs, wrapping his arms around my back, letting his head fall onto my chest.

I embraced him tightly, wondering what he was thinking. I stroked his hair, as he continued clinging to me. "I'm sorry.." Louis mumbled into my chest.

"Don't be sorry love, it's okay.."

"I just wish you wouldn't shut me out like this..." I said as I continued stroking his hair.

Louis pulled his face from my chest, his ocean blue eyes falling upon mine. "The last time I was at this hospital was with my mum.." Louis said, burying himself back into my chest.

My heart ached, I understood the feeling of losing a parent. I also knew what it was like to be standing in the place where they were once with you. It's like a hole missing, imagine carrying something with you for your entire life, then for it to suddenly be gone.

The feeling that could never be described is a loss of a parent. It will be the worst feeling you've ever felt in your entire life. A piece of you dies along with them. It'll leave you numb, broken, completely unaware of the world around you. Nothing else exists, it feels like you have zero purposes to do anything, because everything you did was for them, and now that they're gone? What's there to live for?

It's a terrifying feeling that you can NOT go alone through, no matter how hard you try to push everyone away, you need someone there for you. You can't lose yourself, I almost did.

After Robin's death, I couldn't help but feel numb. I shut out everyone, I didn't speak to anyone for days, until Gemma found me. She helped me realize a couple of things, as much as he meant to me, other people were grieving too. My mother was grieving the loss of the love of her life, and she had to worry about losing her son along with it. They pulled me back out of it and saved my life.

I couldn't imagine what it's going to feel like to lose either one of them. The day Louis dies, I'll die along with him. The day my mother dies, I won't be the same. The day Gemma's beautiful soul leaves the planet, I guarantee you a part of me will never be the same.

I couldn't find the right words to say, so I just held him tightly, awaiting the doctor. I hummed to him, swaying with him, hoping I would ease his nerves a little.

A knock startled us, as Louis pulled away, placing himself back onto the table. He took my hand in his, just before he called out, "Come in!"

The doctor walked in with a clipboard in his hand. He rolled out his chair taking a seat in front of us, giving us both a smile.

"I'm Dr. Luca," The man said reaching out his hand, both of us greeting him. Luca coughed as he revised the paperwork in his hand.

"So good news.." He strung along, my thumb caressing Louis' hand gripping his hand tightly.

"Both of your test results for HIV and any STD were negative."

"Both of you are squeaky clean, as for the question about not using protection, I don't see why you would need to."

"Although, I would still suggest having checkups together again, just to know everything is going smoothly," Luca explained, fixing his glasses he looked at Louis and me.

Luca's eyes remained on mine, "Harry right?"

"Yeah.." I mumbled as he looked back down at his paperwork.

"The dermatologist got your results of the moles back yesterday," Luca went on, as my heart began pounding, Louis' hand gripping mine tightly.

"They didn't find anything, all of your tests came back negative."

"Meaning they didn't find anything wrong, but due to your family history, I think it was a great idea coming in."

He said making my heart return to a normal pace, I heard Louis sigh in relief.

"Can I speak to you outside Harry?" Luca said, making Louis whip his head around to face me.