Swish

.18

The chorus of cheering for 'SHOTS!' echoed throughout the still night air as goosebumps skittered across my skin in anticipation for what my father was going to say, or threaten me with to make sure that I came back home that weekend.

My father's voice came through the other end of the line, half panicked and half agitated, but I knew that ignoring his calls and texts had made him somewhat desperate to speak with me. 

"Virginia, you are coming home this weekend, right? I don't need to remind you what will happen if you don't follow my rules."

Meaning, he would cut me off indefinitely until I finally did comply with his rules. 

"If I come home, is Jared going to be there?"

He sighed, and I could just picture him straining to keep his cool as his face turned red and inflamed by the fact that I hadn't immediately reserved myself to doing as he said. 

"You know that's not my call to make.  If he is or isn't doesn't matter, we had a deal."

"Yeah, and you disrespect me every single time he stays the night with my cousin and I'm there.  You all seem to forget we were together for two entire years, but the second he dumps me for Sara everyone just miraculously forgets and expects me to be okay with him being around twenty four seven?  I don't want that shoved in my face constantly, especially not when I'm going through things that I'd like to remain private."

I was huffing by the time I was done ranting, but then, I wasn't really done yet, was I?

"Sara is not my daughter, but you are.  Kara lives here with her daughter and this home as just as much hers as it is ours, and I respect her enough to make the right decisions about her child, and while I may have given her some input into the situation she took my words into consideration and chose to allow Jared to stay over.  That's her right as Sara's parent.  You, however, are my daughter and we had a deal.  I pay for your college, your phone, your clothes, your car, your food, housing, pretty much everything that you need to survive.  And I can turn that off in a second."

I had to play it smart.  If I came and outright told him where he could shove all the things he paid for, then I wouldn't have a chance to save up enough money to afford those things myself.  

I could finance a cheap vehicle and find insurance, get on a different phone plan, get on the financial aid food program at the school in New York, take out a student loan...anything to get out from underneath his thumb.  I could even take on a second job...or I could win the hundred thousand dollar grand prize at the talent showcase later in the school year...

I hadn't even been planning on auditioning for the showcase, let alone attempting to win it, but I had to try.  If I didn't, my dad was going to control me for the rest of my life.  I wanted my freedom, I wanted agency in my own life, I wanted to be financially stable on my own. 

"I'm aware that you think you're doing your best for all of us, but the truth is that I'm hurt, and it feels like you don't even care.  Like all you care about is making me come home no matter what, and even when I'm home, we don't talk.  You took Sara and Jared's side when they made up lies about me...why do you even want me to come back home in the first place?"

"I made a promise to your mother.  I promised her that I would try with you, really try to work at our relationship and make it as strong as the one she had with you.  I thought we were that close before you moved to college, but maybe I was wrong..."