Unhealthy Coping Mechanism

Chapter 26

The next morning, Harriet awoke to silence. No alarm, no groggy complaints from Sam as he changed out of his pajamas, just the sound of her own breathing.

Shit!

Where was her phone? Harriet patted the bedside table, but the device was nowhere to be found. She threw on the first outfit she could grab from the closet before storming out of the bedroom.

"Morning, babe." Frank smiled at her over his shoulder as he waited in front of the toaster. "I'd have made you pancakes or somethin', but I figured you wouldn't want to be woken up by the smoke detector telling us what a terrible cook I am."

"Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Nah, took the rest of December off. The boss was pissed since this is so last minute, but Ryan talked him into letting me take off since I'd been covering for him for so long."

She couldn't believe it. The same man who spent more time at the office than with his own family was here in her kitchen. She found her phone waiting for her at the kitchen table and swore. 9 AM. Frank had let her sleep until 9 freaking AM. "Where's Sam?"

"At school. I'm surprised he didn't wake you up. He was not the least bit happy about me dragging him to the car." He swore as he took the bagel out of the toaster. "Sweet crispy Jesus, that's hot! You want anything with this?"

"Cream cheese and a pinch of cinnamon."

"We're fresh out of cinnamon."

Bullshit. She'd bought a fresh bottle full of it earlier that week.

Harriet pushed past him, opening each of the cupboards with increasing desperation. No cinnamon, no flour, not even a grain of sugar. She threw open the fridge to discover they didn't have any butter, milk, or eggs either.

"What the fuck did you do, Frank?"

"Threw out so much food I feel like I grew a six-pack from hauling it to the curb. Who knew sugar could actually be good for my exercise routine?" He shrank under the glare she gave him. "I did what I had to, babe."

"Took away everything that made me happy?"

"You weren't happy, babe, and neither was Carol. You were numb."

"That's a hell of a lot better than how I'm feeling right now."

"I know. I'm sorry, but we'll get through this. I know we will."

"How can you sit there and pretend you know what this even is?"

"I'm not pretending, babe. I have no clue what's gotten into you, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be here for you."

Harriet's shoulders shook as she sobbed into her hands. Losing her father, losing Sam, losing the only source of solace she'd found in these cold, lonely months: it was all too much. "You never are."

Frank hugged her from behind, burying his head in her hair. "I wasn't. You're right about that, Harriet. I really, really wasn't. But I want to be. Please let me try."

They stayed like that for a while, crying with nobody to hear them but the bagel lying cold and forgotten in front of Harriet. At last, she said, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay, I will let you try. But this is the last time, Frank. I've let you try so many times I don't think my heart will be able to take it if you keep failing."

"I'd better not mess up, then. No more late nights in the office." He kissed her cheek. "No more saddling you with Sam every waking moment." His lips caressed the sharp line of her jaw. "No more letting you ever feel like you have to deal with everything all by yourself."

She leaned forward to meet his lips with her own. In that moment, they were not two people facing their struggles alone but one pair united together against the world. "I love you," she murmured.

"I love you more."

"I love you most."

"I love you more than most."

She laughed as he raised a cheeky eyebrow. "Ain't that the truth!"

"I'd hope so considering we're married."

She lovingly thumped him on the arm. "What on earth am I going to do with you?"

"Kiss me again?"

Harriet's stomach growled. "I'd love to, but my heart's outvoted two to one. My stomach and brain have spoken, and they say it's time to eat something first, preferably before lunchtime."

"Alright, Mrs. Harriet's Stomach. We'll get you fed, then she'll kiss me again."

Harriet chuckled. Since when had he been so funny?

"Can I have something other than that?" Harriet gestured to the bagel, now cold with thick clumps of cream cheese dripping off of it. "Not that I don't appreciate you cooking me breakfast, but..."

"It does look pretty sad, doesn't it? Sorry, babe. I didn't have a whole lot to work with. How's IHOP sound?"

"It sounds like I'm in for a treat," Harriet said. "I don't know about you, but I can never say no to pancakes."

"They do make for a balanced breakfast. Get it? Because they're served in a stack."

Harriet snorted. "They'd better be balanced, alright. As much as I love maple syrup, I'd rather not end up with a sticky mess spilled into my lap."

"You're so sweet I'm surprised that stuff doesn't taste bitter to you."

"Okay, now you're just buttering me up."

"You'd butter believe it," Frank said with a smirk. After giving them both a moment to chuckle at his latest pun, his face turned serious. "But I do want you to do one thing for me, babe."

"And what's that?"

"Call your friends and see if they'll come hang out with you." He held up a hand to stop her from protesting. "Not now. Lord no, no way in hell am I sharing those pancakes with anyone but you. But after we've got some of those sweet, sweet pancakes in you, I want you to give 'em a holler, see if they're up for a ladies' spa day or something."

That did sound nice, just not as nice as the hum of the oven. But she couldn't tell him that, not after he'd proven he was so determined to keep her out of the kitchen. No, she'd have to play along until he went back on his word, like he always did.

"I'm not sure they'd even want to be around me at this point," she said. "I haven't even said a word to either of them since they brought over that casserole."

Frank winced. "That explains why Vicky was giving me weird looks when I dropped Sam off. Alright, so maybe they'll pass on spending time with the most wonderful woman I know. But maybe they won't. All I'm asking you to do is try, babe."

"And if they don't want to?"

"Sucks to be them. I'll just have to spoil you rotten all by myself."

She'd be okay with that. Or at least, she could tolerate it for the time being. Sooner or later, he'd let her down again. They all would.

All of them except for the oven. But how could she return to its warm embrace when Frank had left her nothing to work with except for her own determination?