Teen Rebellion // S.R. ✓

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE !

March

Breaks are given to those who are well deserving. And you, being a human who spends their life in their room, only given thirty minutes to an hour to smoke your lungs away, is well deserving of a break.

People question you when you tell them that you are in need of a break after locking yourself in your room for hours at a time, but those hours are necessary for your living. When sealed in an unlit room full of schoolbooks and your laptop that has become a portal to another world, the walls beside you inch in and you have no room to breathe.

Sure, you do take time out of your day to smoke in your poor car that has become intoxicated itself of the potent smell, but the forty five minutes feel like a second when you are lying on the moon, far from the world and its green floor. You're so high your preconceived notion of time is broken into fragments and when you check the time, it is far from what you believed it was.

You've gone off the drugs for that exact same reason. You have no time to catch up with your friends let alone catch up to the missing assignments you've racked up due to your inebriation. You have never been the kind of person to scratch your skin when you run out of weed, if it's gone then it's gone and you won't buy for three to four days, so it has not been a large issue for you.

You have been craving the drug every now and then and it isn't the worst drug to set foot on the planet, but you enjoy seeing the world for how shitty it is. When you are high, it is most likely during the night time and you're able to see the colors more vibrantly. While they are shaky and become delayed in movement, you see them sprout in color and you would enjoy it.

The loss of vibrancy and the wave of gloom that engulfs the world is not satisfying to live through, but it works as a portal and takes you back to the time when you lived through struggles without an intoxicating escape.

You've managed to keep up with it as well. You have not smoked since Valentine's day night when your stomach was wrenching from your period cramps. You smoked out of a bong that night. Your lungs were on fire.

You had never smoked out of a bong, despite your love for weed and everything you can smoke it out of. When you sucked from the makeshift object, your lungs ached and you were ready to part your lips but you were instructed to "keep going or else I'm kicking you out of my car." All thanks to Sunny's words, your lungs burned and you the worst high you had ever been on set in.

That was one of the last straws for you to take a long awaited break. You know you will return to the substance eventually, but you want to make sure you are capable of living a life without constantly needing a smoke.

You have been doing well, to the surprise of no one. No one doubted that you could stay clean for longer than two days, only those who have spotted you pay your dealer multiple times in the school parking lot. Everyone shuts up because you offer to smoke them out though, which to them is like saving thousands of dollars.

The break has been treating you well. You have gone on multiple outings with Spencer and you have read every book on the shelf of your monstrous wall. You've arranged your room for the twelfth time this week and you have managed to keep your room clean for more than two days. This has been the most productive you have been all year.

And today you have another date. A 'lay on the ground and count the strands of grass glued to the earth until your fingers ache' date. You have laid next to Spencer like that multiple times, but you've found it calming when the earth opens up to reveal fire shooting from its' depths and you sit as if nothing is happening. Two people centered between the falling rocks, together.

"Thank you, have a nice day," you tell the pharmacist, offering her a warm smile before she turns away. You quickly stuff the white paper bag into your tote bag and pace through the aisles, keeping your eyes straight ahead and your body away from incoming customers so you avoid conversation.