Oh, We Can Be Heroes

Chapter Thirteen

TW: MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, ILLUSION TO SUICIDE, DEREALIZATION

Can I tell you of a friend I had, when I was like you?

I first met him in my first life. We went to the same school, and it felt like we just knew each other from the second we met. He was my best friend. He felt like he completed me, completed who I was.

When I watched him die, later in that first life, it was a pain I do not want to put into words. A part of me was lost. I had just lost my other half.

Then I watched, systematically, every single person I loved die. I watched them all say goodbye to me, and I was left alone.

So, utterly alone.

For some naive reason, I believed me going to a different reality, going there, would make it feel better.

I watched every single person I love die fifty five more times until I realized I could not do it anymore. I watched fifty six times as the person who was my light in the world died, leaving only the suffocating darkness that was me.

Godship was then given to me by the universe. There, I was able to tell the stories and never be alone. I was able to stop feeling emotions.

After all, if there is no emotion there is no sadness. I became comfortably numb in my actions.

Then I was Icarus, I flew too close to the son, and I conversed with you all.

You all remind me of him so much, I am sorry.

-

On his request, Tommy returned to school as soon as possible. He had learned the best way to avoid repenting was to keep busy, so school sounded perfect. During the four days following the 16th, he had spent every day with his friend group. He had also learned he quite liked having friends, and was beginning to warm up to them.

His friends had learned to adapt to him, and none of them complained. He was funny, and if you could catch him off guard, was a loud teenager with an attitude.

Connor was determined to get him out of his shell. But, he did so respectively. Nobody would bring up Gods of any type, nothing on dads, or repenting. They would bring up animals as much as they could, or tell stories (Tommy seemed to love stories, for some reason).

Sometimes though, he just was quiet. He didn't want to speak, or he was afraid to. The group recognized it, and just tried to be there for him. Tommy appreciated it.

His first day back consisted of finishing an analysis essay of Brave New World , a book Tommy hated. "The ending is just so anticlimactic and depressing. After all of his fighting for this new world and everything he experienced, he just commits suicide? It's so just unfulfilling to read!" He ranted to Purpled and Ranboo, as Tubbo and Connor didn't read the book.

"I know! Like what kind of ending is that? 1984 better have a better ending or I'm going to be pissed. If we have to read these books, they should at least be good." Ranboo replied.

"Or, you could simply sparknotes it like a normal 16 year old and then you wouldn't care about the ending. It's seriously so easy to avoid that disappointment." Connor turned around and spoke to the boys, Tubbo nodding on every word.

"It saves you so much time too." Tubbo added.

"No way, just because the ending is bad doesn't mean we sparknotes it. We read it so we can actually write a comprehensible essay on it. You guys are just lazy." Connor and Tubbo rolled their eyes at Purpled's response, which made Tommy laugh.