misdirection ⤷ g. weasley

[42] revealing the truth

[ cw: panic attack ]

Marlee's POV

I laid in bed, wide awake, the sounds of my roommates' snores filling my ears. I felt so...lifeless. It was almost four in the morning and I'd barely slept at all. But it wasn't even like there was something keeping me up, my mind was completely empty.

I could hear rain hitting the window which meant I couldn't go do some laps around the Quidditch pitch and my other way to cope was...unavailable.

I thought I was making the right choice with letting him go, but why did it hurt so much? Shouldn't I be relieved? Shouldn't it have made me feel better?

In school, they teach you spells, charms, transfiguration and all that stuff but nobody teaches you these kinds of things. How to deal with your emotions. How to love. How to live.

Maybe the world wouldn't have so many Death Eaters if we were taught how to love. Our parents don't have that much influence on us, we spend almost half our childhood at Hogwarts. But instead we spent our time learning how to pass our OWLs and NEWTs. What a load of dross.

I can't wait to get out of here. Go live on my own, in the middle of nowhere, having to deal with no problems at all...This is what my dad was talking about, me running away when things get hard. Damnit. Well what did he want me to do? Pretend like I don't know George anymore? I dunno, Dad wouldn't understand anyway. It was times like this when I wish Mum were still here to give me advice. I guess I could write Nora...maybe that's what I should do.

I quickly got out of bed and scurried to my desk, taking out a piece of parchment and a quill, then began writing. Once I was happy with the finished product, I decided I'd send it in the morning as I had grown tired and went to bed for maybe an hour or two.

—

When my roommates woke me up the next morning, my head felt like a bowling ball. If there was some spell for lack of sleep, I didn't know it, so I was forced to get ready for school. Although, with Dumbledore back he may have let it slide and let me skip classes for being "sick" but I was too lazy to ask.

I got ready and told my roommates I'd meet them in the Great Hall as I made my way to the Owlery. Technically, Seraphina was Cho's but she wouldn't mind if I used her.

Seraphina flew to me immediately as I got there and I stroked her a few times before placing the letter in her beak, then she set off on her journey. I rarely ever sent letters during my school year which is why Cho had an owl and I didn't. Mum and Dad had offered when I was young, but I simply said no.

My stomach grumbled as I walked to the Great Hall so I picked up the pace. Right as I sat down, I immediately began placing food on my plate.

"Merlin's beard, Marlee!" Aries exclaimed. "That hungry, are you?"

I shoved some eggs into my mouth as I responded, "Yes...and maybe a bit of stress."

"How did last night go?" Ceaser asked, as I didn't see him from my time with the Gryffindors.

"Long story short, he wants to be together but I told him no," I explained, quickly. "Then he tried to kiss me and I almost kissed him back but I didn't."

"I still don't see why you won't be with him," Harlow insisted, shaking her head. "Isn't it what you've wanted all year? Screw the Death Eaters! Life's fun with a bit of danger."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "It's not that kind of danger though. You didn't hear him, you didn't see him. It was heartbreaking..."

"Marlee, did it ever occur to you that maybe you're just scared?" Ceaser began.