Still Love You Most (GirlxGirl) [E-book available on MEB]

All On Me

"I don't understand."

Chase Asher says from his ergonomic office chair. He looks at the papers in front of him and the two doctors in front of his desk. They are standing there; one is waiting for her punishment and one doesn't even know why he has to be here. Chase puts his closed hand on his cheek with his index finger pointing upwards. His thoughts are running but the finish line is unclear. He doesn't know what he is after and he doesn't know what to do next.

"Me either." Jack says quietly as he crosses his arms on his chest. He is bothered and he is annoyed.

"Your patient; Mr. Chris Smith, came into the ED from a skateboard accident. This and that. This and that." Chase skims through the patient's medical record. "He came in and you started treating him 8 minutes later. That was rather fast."

"I was on my way from Orthopedics so..." Julia explains. She still feels like this whole situation is dragging her feet like a prisoner's chain. She still believes that Chris should have been in a surgery faster than he was and it was her fault that his treatment was delayed.

"Another 10 minutes for stitching him up for CT. Great time." Chase throws another compliment but she fails to take it. She doesn't want a compliment or a comfort. Her eyes are on the papers Chase is going through and her mind is beating her up. "Doctor Sullivan, what did she do wrong?"

Jack shrugs. "Probably the fact that she didn't buy the guy a helmet?"

Chase gestures towards Jack as a sign of agreement but Julia sighs. She sees things from a different point of view. "Doctor Terrell, you'd done everything you could. The family doesn't even raise any concerns of your treatment; nor Chris Smith himself."

"Most importantly, he doesn't die. He is alive and well." Jack supports Chase's argument. They are rarely on the same page but now they have no choice but to stand together. "He bled in his brain, Doctor Terrell. Unless you were Superwoman, you couldn't see it coming. He was responsive. No one would know and he still reacted well when they saw the bleed."

"Okay." Chase tries to settle this matter. He can try to find a flaw and he will probably find it but it would be too little to do anything about it. "Let's just go back to work. Let this be a lesson for you, Doctor Terrell, that maybe you can react faster to this kind of injuries. If the family wants anything to do with you or the ED, I will let you know."

"Okay." Julia says quietly and follows Jack out of the administrator office.

Jack and Julia walk side by side along the hallway that feels like a mile long and as soon as they are far enough from the administrator office, Jack pulls Julia gently to stop. Jack is now the attending physician who is Julia's boss; not the Jack she can easily mess with.

"Doctor, listen." Jack starts with a serious voice. Julia immediately listens without Jack having to repeat his words. She knows it is something different and it is something serious when Jack refers her as her working title. It is like when mom calls her with her full name. "What you did. It couldn't be any faster. It couldn't be any better. If you want to blame someone, blame your patient for not wearing a helmet; not yourself."

"I literally talked to him about my personal matter..."

"He doesn't die. You talked to him because he was conscious and stable. You wouldn't have talked to him if he had been half conscious with pieces of his brain on the gurney. Move on from this. People bleed and people die. It's the Emergency Department. It's something you've signed up for." Jack doesn't hold back. There is a lesson Julia need to learn and Jack makes sure she learns it well. "There will be plenty of shits you have to go through. Move on from this. Go visit your patient in ICU, make your peace and go back to the ED. There are a lot more patients you need to see."