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You sat under your blanket, the bright light from your phone being the only thing illuminating your little space— and boy was it hurting your eyes.
Before you knew it, the day had passed and you were now supposed to be asleep. You had to wake up early for your run and get ready for your first day of school. And yet here you were at 1 am, in your own little fort— with the air conditioning a little more high than usual.
Was this bad for your face?
Most definitely.
But for once though, that was besides all your worries. You had been scrolling through Pinterest for the last hour, trying to get some inspiration from it. Whether it was style, makeup, or literally anything else, you were trying to gather something from it.
You're mind had also crept back to what Atsumu was saying earlier. It stressed you out just a little to even consider the fact that he might've known something.
After all, it was embarrassing to admit that people thought you were ugly. That you'd always be a 2nd or 3rd place to someone much prettier and attractive. The way your parents acted like you needed psychiatric help as well didn't help the situation either.
What you did back in America wasn't like it was immoral or anything. You just had an addictive personality... and looking healthy and feminine was something you were into now.
You told yourself not to think about it too much, maybe the way you told him that you and Stella weren't friends made him think it was a harsh fall out, and that you should take the petty "rain on their parade" route.
Obviously, that wasn't something you were even motivated to do. But the fact that he thought you could do better then Stella really had you considering something.
Have I really been looking down on myself? You thought as you scrolled through pinterest, I mean... not being like how I was last year is definitely an improvement to say the least... but am I really better looking than her?
It made you feel wrong for thinking that, but you couldn't shake the thought off. You had already been considering to start posting on Instagram, but you wanted it to be private, and you'd probably start following people first in order to gain followers yourself— after all, you didn't want someone from school finding it.
But now, you were really considering it. Take the account seriously, make it public, gain a ton of followers— and boom. Everyone would see you differently.
You even had those cool editing apps that could enhance your features, and put cool filters on.
Yeah, maybe you could do that. You took a photography class once in freshman year, so you had some experience with poses and angles— maybe it would work out.
Your mind raced to all those different ideas, an exciting anticipation awaiting you as you considered it.
If you were to do it, you wouldn't do it to spite someone. It would just be out of curiosity— to see if you could gain a couple of followers. Even if you could get 100, it would be more than enough anyways.
With determination washing over you, you finally shut your phone off, throwing the blanket over you nuzzling into bed. You were far from tired while your mind raced due to your loud imagination.
It was pretty strange to see how much things had changed, if you were here with your family on a normal vacation— where there were no other options except to sleep in the bunk bed with your cousins... your first priority would've been to just get some shut eye, you were never the type of person to have your mind just sparkle with all kinds of scenarios and spend hours pondering upon someone's words. Maybe in a way, you changed for the better.
Whatever, maybe people like that kind of personality anyways. We'll just have to find out tomorrow.
°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。
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as you can probably tell if you've been caught up with this story, one of the main focuses in this fanfic is self appearance.
having said that, it' s also a reader insert, so i would have literally no clue how the person looks like when reading this!
Because of that, I am and will continue to exclude descriptions on hair and clothing. Not everyone has free flowing hair that blows in the wind and not everyone decides to show their hair. nevertheless that also shouldn't be provided as an example of what looking "prettier"is like (in this ff especially). as for clothing, if I ever decide to put some outfit inspo on this story or maybe even describe the clothing i'll be sure to include a modest alternative unless the outfit itself is fine.
besides that, make sure you all are drinking water and staying positive, and a super late Eid Mubarak to everyone reading!!
