The Usurper's Queen | COMPLETED

13 | a frozen heart

I rushed back into the bedroom and changed into my old, soiled dress and tossed the nightdress away indignantly. I looked like a crazy woman, but that was the least of my concerns as I stormed down the hallway, making sure to avoid Edmund and the harlot. It was snowing heavily outside, yet my stubborn self was determined to leave anyways.

Other than my clothing, the only thing I had with me was a small purse of coins and the jewelry I had worn. The necklace I currently wore was given by Edmund, so I bitterly ripped it off and threw it onto the ground. I then stomped off into the snow, and immediately I was overwhelmed by the coldness. I was wearing a summer dress, as it was warm down south, and I was not at all accustomed to the cold, which made things even worse.

"You dropped this!" I heard a child say. Confused, I turned around to see Anna-Maria standing at the door while holding the necklace. I slowly made my way back to the door, and said, "That isn't mine."

The small girl shook her head. "I saw you wearing it yesterday. It is yours. And why are you going out in the snow, alone?"

"I am going home," I replied softly. She frowned in confusion and said, " Then you should ask Uncle Edmund to send you home. Mother says that it is dangerous to travel alone."

I smiled softly at her and said, "I must go. Tell them that I shall be safe, so there is no need to worry about me." With that, I swiftly turned away and ventured into the snow.

Sterling Castle was located deep in the northern woods, and it never stopped snowing here, even in summer. Since it is winter now, all I saw was miles and miles of snow. I began to walk, but at one point, I felt my arms and legs begin to tremble. It was troublesome and I quickened my steps, but I swiftly became exhausted. It became hard to breathe, and every breath I took felt like inhaling liquid fire.

I looked at my surroundings, and this time, all I saw was white. I no longer saw the castle, nor the woods that surrounded it. All around me was white. It was as if I was encased and trapped in this freezing hell, knees deep in snow and no shelter in sight. My heartbeat quickened, and I wondered if I would indeed die here and freeze to death. In desperation, I lifted my head and looked at the sky. A beautiful, greyish blue greeted me back comfortingly, and the tiny, crystal-like slivers of snow rained down, gleaming brightly in the dim winter sun.

I felt my knees weaken, and my feet finally gave way and I fell onto the ground with a thud, creating an indent on the bed of fresh snow, and it softly embraced me, as if I were asleep on my warm, wool-stuffed mattress back at Winterbourne Castle. My home, which I might never see again. I think of the south, the warm, beautiful south. The endless miles of emerald green grass fields, the sparkly blue waves of the sea that surrounded the Winterbourne Port, and the blistering summer sun, that never stopped giving us the energy and strength to live on another day. I think of my father, my gentle and caring father, his humble and wise smile, his crinkled periwinkle eyes. And my brother, who never failed to ire me, but now I missed his loud laughter and obnoxious jokes more than ever.

And I thought of Edmund, and our first meeting under that tree in the palace gardens. I remember the sound of the gushing water from the nearby river, and how the leaves occasionally fell on that late summer afternoon. The dagger that I used to pierce his flesh was still safely kept in my sock, and it felt so cold that it burned my skin. I wonder if I should have pierced through his heart instead. But truly, I should have never ventured there in the first place, and never met that dark, handsome and powerful duke. I wish I never knew him. Slowly, I drift off into sleep, the ground as my bed, and the raining snow as my soft, fleece blanket.

It was hot. Burning hot. I felt as if I were inside a room of fire, and a heavy blanket was draped over my body, encasing me like a cocoon. I let out a groan and pushed the blanket away in confusion. I could not recall anything, and I did not recognize the room I was in.