Aftermath (Se-yeon x reader x Seo-Jun)

Chapter 5

Y/N POV
  Looking around seeing my surroundings not know how to answer to the boy that's right in front of me with a concerning face. "I'm okay guys, I promise" I smile a little. "Y/N... it came back." My brother says with teary eyes. My eyes start to water and Seo-joon engulfs me in a hug to comfort me. "I'm so sorry Y/N" he muffled.

Which makes me cry even more. I hated to see anyone I love hurt. It's why he only knew. Seo-joon never knew. If he did, he'd be hurt and I wouldn't of wanted that. Seo-joon lets go and caresses my cheek. He wipes a stray tear from my face. "Don't cry, you'll get through this, I'll be right by your side," he smiles.

I don't think I'm able to go through it again. It reminds me of how much pain I went through previously when I was with him. I cried every night knowing I might not be alive the next day. Until I got better. That's when he started to hide himself away. He spent most nights lying in my bed with me in his arms.

I wish he would've come to me if he was in that much pain. I never believed a thing that was said about him, but others said otherwise. I loved him so much. And he loved me. But it wasn't enough for him to stay much longer. I could've save him. I could've called him and asked where he was.

What if I just end it all for him? What if I jump too? I'll get to see him again. No, he wouldn't want that. He'd want me to be happy. That's all he wants is for me to be happy. It's why I've put up this wall from everyone. I pretended to be happy when I wasn't. I pretended to be okay, but I never was.

When I'd smile during the day to crying myself to sleep and waking up in a cold sweat to his last words before he left me. I miss him. I miss his touch. I miss his presence. I miss everything. "I know you miss him. Me too," a tear streams down his face. I caress his cheek and wipe it away.

I give him a weak small smile of comfort and pull him into my arms. "Don't worry about me, you need to deal with your demons too," I say for only him to hear.