leaving you 2

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i woke up this morning and i was ready to have a fresh start, a new day with positive energy.

until that is, of course a notification from no one other than my boyfriend, johnny orlando.

i sighed, grabbing my phone from my dresser where i had been picking out my clothes for the day. i read a text from johnny that said, "please come over to have a mature conversation with me when your free."

i fell onto my bed, groaning in anger. "i'm not ready to face johnny right now." i thought. fuck it honestly. let's get this over with.

i got ready and grabbed my car keys, running to my car as if i was in the olympics.

+++

i knocked on johnny's door. i was stomping my foot over and over again to calm my sudden anxiety.

johnny answered the door, and not with a smile on his face. it was more of a "oh, it's you"type face.

"come in." johnny said but before he could walk me inside i blurted out, "i think we should take a break!" i then gasped at my sudden out burst, shocked at my own words i had said out loud for him to hear. johnny stumbled back in denial. "w-what?" he stuttered. before i knew it, johnny had tears in his eyes.

i started to break down when i met johnny's eyes. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry! i just think we need space." i sobbed. i saw a tear roll down johnny's rosy cheeks. i frowned. "a b-break?" johnny stuttered. "why would we need a break? everything was fine!" johnny shouted causing me to flinch. "johnny, don't yell please." i whispered. johnny had a sarcastic grin on his face. "whatever, leblanc. this relationship was such a waste of my time." johnny said.

that sentence, that right there broke me. "this relationship was such a waste of my time."

-

"john. you don't mean that." i cried. "oh but i do. you didn't even love me when i gave you my all! my fucking all!" johnny yelled, smashing his hand on the front door.

i knew johnny was angry, and he had every right to be. i couldn't get 'scared' or 'mad' at him for his actions. i knew he'd never hurt me, well physically.

i needed to calm him down somehow, but what could i possibly do? he probably hates me in this moment.

-

while johnny was still shouting and hitting things, i ran up to him and rapped him in a tight hug. he was surprised at first but soon gave in. johnny hugged me back, and sobbed into my shoulder. i knew he was in pain, even more than i was in. it broke my heart seeing him in this state.

"don't l-leave me leblanc. please." johnny sobbed into my shoulder. i started crying again. i had no idea what to do other than keep my distance.