Why. Did. He. Save. Me?

Life

Now you know the basics, I may as well go into the details. I'll think deeply about my life. When I was alive. I'll relive it all... 

I. Can. See. It. Now. 

Every night, I would run. It was always so real. My nights were not restful, not peaceful, but terrifying and tiring. I would awake in cold sweats and be more drained than I was before. I was seeing counsellors, psychiatrists, teachers were constantly checking up on me. I had no friends, they all stopped talking to me once I started seeing the counsellor. They thought I was dangerous.  

You. Have. To. Be. Different. To. Go. To. The. Counsellor. 

By fourteen I was dealing with the nightmares quite well, I'd got used to them. I had some friends, but I didn't really socialise much.I didn't sleep much either. My body learnt to cope with the lack of sleep. I just studied constantly. I went from being the bottom of the class to the top. I got all A*s for my GCSES and A-Levels. I did some extra ones as well. I studied lots of languages, and started studying more foreign cultures and history. I thought people would like me because I was becoming more normal. 

I. Was. Wrong. 

They. Hated. Me. More. 

I went from being avoided, to people going out of their way to insult me. To torment me. I couldn't understand why they hated me.  

It was because now I was a complete freak. I was succeeding through impossibilities. I was a teacher's pet. I had been acting normal before, I wasn't able to cope. It was just what I was going through that they were avoiding. They weren't strong enough to cope with my situation, so they blocked it out. Now they hated me - nerds are usually hated anyway, but mentally disturbed nerds are another thing entirely.I wasn't conforming to human normalities. 

So. Humanity. Struck. Me. Down. 

The few friends I did have, left me. It got so bad, that the teacher's would just keep me in the staffroom. They said they admired me. 

L.I.E.S 

I could read the pity in their worry lines, see the disgust in their eyes. As I grew older I could read people's thoughts through their expressions perfectly. Not thoughts as in, their internal monologue. Thoughts as in, their levels of emotion, reactions, what kind of thinking is going on in their head. Whether they are judging people, solving a problem, or remembering something. I could tell the difference. I also learnt how to control my expressions, so no one could guess at what I was thinking. In my last year of sixth form, I joined a drama group. I could act wonderfully. I was the best of them all. 

But. I. Never. Got. A. Main. Role. 

The teacher was prejudiced and had her favourites. I spent most of my time doing admin in the drama office. 

I had strategically been members of lots of committees, clubs, sports squads. Sports was fun. I was strong and agile, bendy and quick. 

But. I. Hated. Running. 

It was like my nightmare. The sports department got rather annoyed with me - I could run twice as fast as the other girls, but would never compete. 

I also played lots of instruments, and was a dedicated member of the orchestra. I got my grade eight singing with distinction. I was a dedicated member of the choir. I was good at chess. In fact, I was good at everything. It looked brilliant on my UCAS form and I got places at every university I applied to. I set up a lot of successful businesses, invested in other companies.I studied lots of different things in an array of places. Then the dreams changed. And my life changed. I met him, my saviour. 

Why. Did. He. Save. Me?