Smoke And Steel

• Forty-One - Don't Ask Me •

Ebony

Do you know what it's like to have your closet friend a.k.a the guy you have a mad crush on just decide to ignore you for three weeks without any explantion at all? It's horrible.

You see, when you're just as worried as I am about the world and all the people in it, and someone who means the world to you starts doing what Ave did, you get really, really worried. You start second guessing yourself, second guessing them, second guessing everything. It really messes you up.

And the fact that he won't even tell me why is what annoys me. He's not communicating the way normal people do! He's treated me like a stranger and yet I can't say anything against him for fear of him leaving or doing something crazy.

I know he thinks differently from me, from most people, but that is a direct result of his upbringing. And I know that pushing people away is his coping mechanism, but I want to know why it's me he decided to push away.

It just really annoys me how, after everything I've been through with him, he still believes that he can let me go so easy.

Christ, boys can be so stupid.

***

"Kiss me like you wanna be loved," Avery crooned along to Ed Sheeran. "You wanna be loved. You wanna beeeee loved -"

Yes please.

"- This feels like falling in love. Falling in love. We're falling in love -"

If only.

"Come on Princess, join in! "

I considered it - he'd only been talking to me again for the past three days but he'd still been gloomy and distant up until this point - but then I remembered that I sounded like an idiot when I sing so I quashed that idea down.

"I'd rather not."

"Oh come on, this is my jam. It could be our jam."

And then we could make like fishy fishies and do the kissy kissies.

"It's already my jam," I said. "I just don't need to sing it too."

"Now you're just being a party pooper," he said, turning the music down.

"No I'm not, I'm trying to do my homework. Your singing is a distraction."

"Well then put the homework away and you won't be distracted."

"Of course, how stupid of me not to think of that. Oops, sorry I just rembered that that's because I'm failing english and need to pass my next test or I'm failing the class."

"Why are you failing? You could've spent the last few weeks studying."

"What, when you were ignoring me?"

He exhaled through his nose, causing his nostrils to flare like a bull. "Are you going to start this again?" He asked.

"Well, you know, you worried the hell out of me and still have no reason for it. It's almost like you forgot I have feelings too."

"Well you keep bringing it up and I just wish you wouldn't. I've said I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't fix things. Answers do. If you would just tell me why you did it -"

"Fine! I'll tell you, but you have to wait two weeks."

"Why two weeks?" I wanted to know now.

"I don't know, it'll be a week before my birthday and I was planning on doing something that weekend but maybe you could come along."