Smoke And Steel

• Thirty-Six - Tell Me Why •

Ebony

Mmm... My bed was extra comfortable this morning, I didn't ever want to leave it. I rolled over, snuggling the blankets. It was just so warm.

But wait.

Beds don't snore.

I opened my eyes to see that I was not in my bed, and that's when I remembered that I was at Avery's, and that I had made him talk to me all night because I was equally scared of the dark, and scared that something would happen to him. Although I didn't tell him the last bit. As they say, ignorance is bliss.

I know first hand that ignorance is bliss, because ever since that night I'd found him I'd had the shittiest sleep in the world. I hadn't been able to sleep with the window open, the door to my bedroom even remotely open, or the light off, and I'd listen to music or read until the early hours of morning, trying to tire myself out.

And even when I did manage to get to sleep, I had vivid nightmares, well, memories, which made even the tiniest bit of sleep worthless.

Except for last night.

I had had the most blissful sleep in the world, and I guess it was because I knew that nothing bad was happening to him.

I don't think it's because he was there to watch over me or anything, because I shared a dorm with Mandy and that did nothing to sooth my fears. I think it was more that he was there last night and I could protect him, even if in reality I had absolutely no chance of fending off an attacker. I guess I just felt somewhat responsible for him.

When I checked the time it was 9 o'clock in the morning - the latest I'd slept in 'til in a long time. Ave was still asleep on his side of the couch, and I watched the soft rise and fall of his chest as he slept. He was just so peaceful looking, and unlike the last time I'd seen him sleeping (in the hospital) he didn't look half dead.

At some point in the night he'd shed his shirt, probably due to the heat, so I could see his perfectly sculpted chest above the blankets that were gathered over his torso. Even in his sleep he clutched the blankets to his stomach, hiding the scars from view.

I admired how perfect his chest was, how perfect he was, and how he didn't even realize it. I mean, he knew he was hot, but he doesn't realize how much more than that he is. Yeah, I know I think about his good looks a lot and I may seem a bit superficial sometimes when all I see is a pretty face and nothing past that, but I'm getting better.

You see, with Avery it's different. Like, at first all I saw was how riduculously attractive he was and his rude attitude and was totally put off. I wanted nothing to do with him, but then our lives kind of just kept getting forced together until it was impossible not to be around him. And then I realized that he wears that attitude like an armour, hoping it will keep people away (although I think that that sexy accent of his just draws them in). He isn't as tough as he leads people to believe, and he's not such a dick either. He's actually a really big softy.

Sometimes it's hard to see past the face, or the smile, or the body, but when you do you can see so much more. We're all people, and despite our status, or our race, or our story, we are all equal. Each person in the world has at least one heart breaking thing happen to them in their lives, and I guess everyone's story is there for you if you would only take the time to listen.

As I watched Ave's sleeping form, I realized just how much I liked him. I don't think I was in love with him, but I definitely liked him a lot. Time had forced us together, but we'd both chosen to stay. It was a hopeless type of crush, one of the ones where you know nothing will ever come from it because you're either too shy, or too doubtful to admit your feelings towards the other person. And it sucked. Liking someone really, really sucked.