Close as Strangers (5SOS fanfic)

Missing You

Being alone in your apartment wasn't as exciting as it was on the tour bus, but at least you got to get away from him. You couldn't even say his name anymore. It hurt you to even think of him at all. Who the fuck says that shit to a person? Obviously not someone who cares at all, whatsoever. But you had to somehow continue writing for the album or else you'd be completely out of a job, so you'd video chat with Ashton, Michael, and Calum to go over material and writing the harmonies and such. You could never bring yourself to finish the damn song you'd been working on, though. You could never find the right words to say. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket and you pull it out, assuming it's one of the boys. And you're right, it's just not one of the three you were expecting. You sit there and read the text as you feel the beating in your chest race faster than a bank robber driving away from the cops.

i miss you... can we go back?

How could he miss you? It's been six weeks since you left and this is all he has to say? Yeah fucking right. There's no way you'd respond to that. You throw your phone onto the other side of your bed and pull out the giant pile of papers that comprise of all your songs.

six weeks since i've been away

and now you're saying everything has changed

You throw your head back and hit your head on the headboard. You groan in pain and get up to take an aspirin. As you're walking back, you hear your phone buzz again.

i'm afraid that i'm losing you.

Damn right he's losing you. Losing you in the sense that you're not physically with them. But no, of course your emotions had to fuck everything up and you still had to love him. Just great. You feel your phone buzz again and you see that he's calling you. You hit ignore and start rubbing your head, which literally and figuratively hurts. A few seconds later, it buzzes again, saying that you have a voicemail. You take a breath and turn it on, listening to it.

"Every night I spend alone, it kills me to think that you're on your own. I wish I could be back home next to you."

That's all he slurs before he's cut off. He's drunk. Of course.

You sigh and begin rubbing your head again.

-

For the next two weeks, he keeps texting your throughout the day and calling you every night. You finally decide to call him back a few hours after his call one night, but he doesn't answer. You look down at the paper you'd been writing on and sigh.

late night calls and another text

is this as good as we're gonna get?

You look at the clock and look up Ashton's last tweet to see where they are. You do the math and realize that it's 9 pm where they are and they're probably playing a show right now.

another time zone taking me away from you

-

It's now been months since you left. You knew in your head that it would be best if you kept your distance from the boys. Luke obviously was either drunk and calling you or sober and not contacting you whatsoever, so either way, life sucked. You figured it was for the better that you just stayed away from them. You had sent them a few demos of songs that you thought they would like and they recorded on the road and you enjoyed hearing their voices singing some of the words you wrote together. You figured that when they came back from tour that you'd have to meet up with them, but that was in a couple of months, so for now, you could enjoy (or at least attempt to enjoy) being alone. As if it were that easy.