𝐏𝐨𝐩-𝐔𝐩 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

𝙳𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏...

Comfort? In need of someone hearing you ramble out your silly,little problems and hold you close 'till their body warmth coats your chilly, shaking one? For their hand to run up to hold your head and gently bury it against the crook of their neck? All of these desires,but there's no one around to understand. No one to be available to let you cry in their arms without judgement; no one to care to such extent. No one who gives you that ease-free feeling, the feeling like you're no where near being a hot burden? A person who would assure you, give you all the possible giddy feelings and the feeling of security? 

What is that i want,exactly?  Even i,myself, can't comprehend. I don't feel deserving of the things i most yearn for..funny,isn't it? After the naive, horrid stuff that i've done and caused i don't feel like i deserve that blossoming feeling of freedom, love, trust, and the many infinite, indescribable feelings those in pure love are in those silly,little books i spend mourning to. Maybe i do deserve these doubting,negative emotions...maybe i am paying the price i much need to. And if so,that's fine--it's mines all alone to deal with.