𝐏𝐨𝐩-𝐔𝐩 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚞𝚋𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎

Interest, attraction, infatuation, likings-- they can all lead to the unraveling wonders of love.
It can all begin with a few seconds of eye contact, maybe by the symphony-like tone of their voice echoing through the room, the comfort and feeling of home that they bring to you, their redeeming qualities you always seem to awe for, or the way they say things--sometimes how contradicting your qualities,compared to theirs are. It all comes in different ways, honestly.

Yet, these beautiful feelings always come with a price: the price of pain and disappointment. The heart-aching truth, the rejection,the uncertainty. Life is already an experience filled with uncertainty, but when it comes to this--finding yourself drawn to someone-- it could end in a debris of feelings. Of course,it depends on the person and how they decide to handle it,but for some...it's all so perplexing;this phenomenon we humans experience. 

I can't say i'm in love,but i fear that's the case--or it developing to more unwanted feelings. They're only setting me up for heart break and confusion.
Though, i can't help it. I remember the day he came to me and we began to hit it off with the constant thinking and messages. It was all a bliss. 

The constant nights we stay up rambling and talking about whatever our brains decide to come up with; the ecstatic joy they overwhelm me with a notification; their heart warming greeting and tone. It all gets to me. Of course, i can't forget their qualities. They have such a hilarious, endearing way of talking--one that makes you cackle and instantly know it's going to be a great time. Such direct,and truthful way of stating things, basically speak their mind. Their subtle way of showing their care. For some odd reason,i also crave to know them in an intimate level; their secrets,their fears, their worries--all of those beauties that makes us human,and give them my infinite support and adoration. Lull them to a state of calmness and home. 
They're so mesmerizing to talk to,as well as their voice. I recall the time we both spoke together,and gosh--i can't begin to describe the butterflies that fluttered through my veins hearing them speak. The excitement and keen amusement from hearing them. 

But all i can do is stand by and give them the little i can offer as a friend The circumstances are high, and i don't dare to cross them, nor speak up about these bumpy,confusing fuzzy feelings they fill me up with.  Funny they do,since i don't have much of an intention to be in a committed sort of relationship. It's not because it's out of my league considering my state of thinking and in generall, mental state--but other realisitc, hurting reasons to top it off. All i yearn for is deep love,affection, care,understanding--but why? Why do i? I have no reason to already think of such foolery things and let them fog up my mind. It's pointless.