Poetry: the things I won't say out loud

8.

i'll never forget how we ended.

i always knew you were hung up on your first love but i somehow convinced myself that maybe you would stay.

maybe you could love me more than her or maybe i could convince you to stay.

if it wasn't obvious, i couldn't.

and i'll never forget that night, when you found out she was willing to take you back, you burst into our apartment and stared at me for a long time.

maybe you were trying to figure out how to tell me or maybe you were second guessing leaving, but i'll never know.

and when you finally told me, i broke down,

i tried to get you to stay, and the words i told you were completely true.

"there's never going to be anyone else, i'm never going to love anybody else for the rest of my life, i won't even care about anyone else for the rest of my life, it's always going to be you, it's always been you."

but life is cruel and you left.

it felt like i was grieving the loss of someone who died, even your friends knew what you did was shitty, so they constantly checked on me.

pity.

for the girl you didn't, couldn't love enough to stay.