Poetry: the things I won't say out loud

10.

i manage to remember everything about you.

i crave knowing everything about you.

it's so early on and still i know that you can bend me to your will with your words.

anything you say could make or break me and this is just the beginning.

i fear that as my feelings grow you will have a power over me but i am already so deep in that i can't wait for it to happen.

you are the one thing that has made sense lately and i can't ever let you go.

and to me, you're basically perfect baby,

but i've got my mother's ability to disregard how others feel
and i've got my father's nose and his tendency to get angry.

and with their dysfunctional marriage as my example for how love should look for those fundamental years of my life.

so i'm sorry.

i'm sorry that i won't be able to love you the way i should and i'm sorry that i might leave when things get hard.

i swear i'd love you if i could.