My unsent poems

my paradox

I love you
I love you every heartbeat just a little bit more
And I feel it when I sleep
I feel it when awake
I feel it when I feel like I feel nothing at all
my paradoxical love

I love you when we fight
I love you when we don't
I love you when we have sex all night
I love you when we sit for days just touching hands
I love you because you're you
I love you because you found me
I love you even if I don't
Because you're my paradox
My paradoxical love

I love you so much
But you'll never know
And I can't ever show
because my love has turned its volume down
And it's killing me, love, it kills me

My love has a leash that holds it back
My love is in chains that are just too heavy
My love is a wall that's pushing me down
My love is a bowl with a hole on the bottom
My love has a 50 km sign
Though it wants to go beyond
it just won't
And if I had it in me
I'd tear off the leash
I'd cut all the chains
I'd break through that wall
I'd tape up that bowl
I'd tear off the sign and take you on a road trip
But the road trip is too far
And my hands are just too tired

my painful little paradox,
my paradoxical love whom I love and I don't

It's just not fair that I loved him more
And it's not fair that I loved him freely
On a highway at night with no cars in sight
I sped and sped and never stopped
The car that only knew of gas
it's broken

why?
Why am I cursed to only once speed the road?
My paradox whom I can't reach though I can touch

I want to travel miles for you
I want to
I want to
I want to

For I love you
I love you
I love you

I love you so much, my endless torture
Just not as much
I love you as much as I can bear
but I can't bear much
My paradox
My paradoxical love