My unsent poems

Poem with no essence

I want to show you how much I don't care
I want to show you how much you broke me but your punches were never enough to shatter me

Though they shattered me.
And I reached on broken glass,
and I cut myself on the way
and I cut anyone else who tried to help
and I gathered all the sharp pieces that had leaked the essence of who I was
The outline of a heart that used to be full is now an unfortunate mess, an inconvenience I keep though I know I should give up on
glued back together, hurriedly made, sloppy,
just enough to function
just enough to breathe
And don't you dare make fun of the way it's become or how it is scarred
for you know you are to blame

Whatever, who cares?
I want to show you you are nothing to me now!

Though you were.
Everything that I have ever wanted and was looking for, even if I wasn't really looking
You were what I had imagined and dreamed of
Since I was young
Before I was born
Before the universe
My life a puzzle I could never understand,
you made it make sense the moment I heard the sound of your voice. And I swear I was waiting for that melody this whole time.
Hoping to be born,
breathe the same air
until I  find my way to you
Until I get to hear you speak
the name that I was given
I was waiting for everything to find their place,
for my mother to meet my father,
for your parents to fall in love,
for everything to slowly build
so I can meet you

You were destiny

Even though I want to show you that you're not.
I want to show you that I deserve better
That I deserve the love you starved me of
That I deserve to be cared for
I deserve to be looked at and to be told I am beautiful, even when I'm not
I deserve the sweet lies
I deserve everything and I don't deserve the fact that for days,
weeks,
months
You brainwashed me,
thinking that I am worth nothing
I did not deserve that
I think no one does.

I want to show you
that your existence is nothing to me now

But if that were true
This poem is as empty as my vessel for a heart
No character or purpose
No emotion that is justified to be spoken out
An empty piece of text
That reaches no one
That touches no one
And talks to no one
So, I guess you'll need to exist in my life
for just a little bit longer

If not forever...
Until this poem ends