floating

questionnaire

it was the next night, hawks and bao sitting on the roof laughing together as though this was a normal arrangement. the previous day hawks had parted at around 12:37 a.m. neither parties seemed to acknowledge the fact that their, 'friendship' you could call it, started with hawks saving bao's life. and neither addressed bao's mental state.

tonight though, hawks had departed from work earlier, meeting bao at an early 10:06 pm. he knew that tonight, he wanted to understand what bao went through in their mind.

"so, you told me you arent a woman. are you a man?" hawks questioned softly after a moment of silence. he took note that the silence was comfortable while it lasted he.

"no, im non-binary. i don't want to be called a woman or man," bao answered.

"so, she and he are off the table?" hawks questioned genuinely. he didnt want to sound rude, just didnt know how to word his questions

"yeah, pretty much. they/them are cool though, those are the pronouns i use. i just feel the most comfortable with those."

"how did you settle on that?"

"it was, confusing to say the least. growing up i was always called a girl but instead of feeling like, yeah i was a girl, it just hurt. it felt wrong. but i knew i wasnt a boy either, that also felt wrong. i did a little research and found that people can be neither, and that just seemed to stick. it felt right." bao slumped forward, resting their elbows on their knees, face in their palms while they made loose eye contact with hawks, the man sitting in front of them.

"that makes sense, i think i get it. pretty cool if you ask me. so, what do i call you?"

"like, aside from man or woman?"

"yeah."

"just, person. i dont really care. i never had anyone to refer to me, so i never thought of it."

"what do you mean, no one to refer to you?" hawks shifting his seating, lifting one leg up to rest his arm on. he shuffled his wings,  ruffling the feather before retucking them.

"i just, dont really have friends. the only partner i had was in high school, back then i was called a girl. i kinda ditched everyone after high school, never been close with anyone since. even ghosted my family, they were shit though so i dont really care." bao shook their head, leaning against the wall, looking up at the stars. "why am i telling you all this, you don't care."

"i never said that, i asked for a reason, y'know?" hawks stated sincerely, running a hand through his tousled hair.

"why do you care so much? you don't know me. i dont know you."

"thats why im trying to get to know you. if you want you can ask me questions, but i want to get to know you. yeah, the meetings are to keep you alive, but also 'cause you genuinely intrigue me."

"you dont need to keep me alive."

"clearly, i do. i dont want to fly home again and see you on the ground. do you want me to leave?"

bao thought for a second. no, they didnt want hawks to leave. they wouldn't admit it, but these meetings late at night were the only thing they looked forward to. "no, dont leave. its too fucking lonely here," bao mumbled.

"aww, you like my company?"

"i like not being alone. its a change of pace. its just that you were the first person who's not annoying or toxic to give enough of a fuck to stick around."

"so you dont think im annoying?"

"i change my mind, leave," bao joked.

hawks just chuckled, staying put right where he was. once everything settled, it was silence again. he wanted to know more about what kinda shit bao went through. he just didnt know how to word it.