Mind over Matter

Chapter Eighteen: Old Scars Pt.1

--TW: This chapter mentions abuse, violence, and PTSD--

Derek glanced over at Meredith in the passenger seat of his car; nervously wringing her hands together. She was looking out of the window as Derek snaked his right hand from the wheel to her left hand, clasping their fingers together. 

She turned her attention back to Derek and showed him a smile. He smiled back at her for a second before looking back ahead. 

"I'm okay Derek... I'm just-"

"Nervous... I understand Meredith, but I'll be there the whole time, right by your side" he stated while squeezing her hand in support. She stroked her thumb on the back of his hand and let out a relieving breath that she wasn't even aware of holding. 

Derek parked the car in his assigned lot and turned the key; switching the engine off. He turned his head and his gaze met Meredith's anxious one. His thumb took over her previous action and stroked the back of her hand. Derek knew it was best to do all of this at her tempo. So, they sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. 

"Okay... I'm ready" Meredith said and Derek flashed her a gentle, reassuring smile; giving her the encouragement she needed to go through with this. They got out of the car and headed up to Dr. Wyatt's office. Meredith was in deep thought the whole journey up.

This was going to be the beginning of putting the three years of physical and psychological trauma past her... she was scared; terrified actually... but she was ready

Therefore when the elevator doors opened and she saw the middle-aged woman greeting Derek with a welcoming smile; she couldn't help but smile. 

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"So, Meredith... what brings you here today?" Dr. Wyat asked. 

Meredith adjusted her seat on the soft green couch, Derek's hand placed gently on her back. She gulped a little. 

"Well... uhm... I am a victim of abuse" she stated softly. 

She had never actually said those six words out loud like that before... sure she had told people what happened to her... but acknowledging that she, in fact, was a victim of abuse felt different... it all felt extremely real... 

Dr. Wyatt wrote something in her notebook before proceeding to ask the next question. 

"If you're comfortable with it; I'd like for you to tread into a little more detail about that. Is that okay?" she asked. Meredith felt Derek's hand rub comforting circles on her back. She nodded at Dr. Wyatt and bounced her leg over the other. 

"Can you tell me about what kind of abuse this was Meredith?" Dr. Wyatt said, giving Meredith a supporting smile. 

"Well... he used to do stuff... physical stuff" Meredith responded as images flashed through her brain. She rubbed her wrists. 

"Did he ever make you feel incapable of doing things?" Dr. Wyatt asked curiously. Meredith looked at the fish swimming in the tank and wrung her hands together. Derek and Dr. Wyatt waited patiently for her to gather her thoughts. 

"Yes he did.. almost every day..." Meredith stated, turning her attention back to her therapist. Derek moved his hand from her back to her hand and intertwined their fingers. She looked over at him and flashed him an insecure smile. She was glad Derek was here with her, it helped her feel more comfortable in opening up to the otherwise unknown stranger sitting across from them.