Deer Diary || Jily

Year 2 III

When the three of them parted ways as the day was coming to a close, Lily and James started walking in the same direction as Renner went the opposite way to get to the Hufflepuff Common Room.

The two of them walked slowly back to their dormitory, as the awkwardness became palpable with Renner gone and not being their buffer anymore. James ran his fingers through his soft, pillowy hair and pulled on it a little, and Lily resisted the urge to smack his hands.

She gulped, taking the first step to resolve the tension. "When you told Renner that you would have fought the Slytherins anyway and them picking on Renner was just an excuse for you to have fun. Did you mean it?"

Wow, Lily, great way to ease the tension. Asking the real tension-free questions.

James sighed and played with his hair some more, as Lily resisted the urge to pull his hands down and handcuff them. "Do you really think that low of me, Evans?"

At least he called her Evans again instead of Lily in that hurt voice of his. Even though his voice sounded pretty hurt at this moment too.

"I don't—"

But James interrupted Lily before she could say anything else, "I told Renner that so he wouldn't feel guilty about me getting detention, which he shouldn't feel guilty about anyway. Believe it or not, Evans, I'm not a horrible monster that picks on people for fun. And it also may come as a surprise to you, but I don't actually enjoy getting bloody noses on a regular basis!"

Lily stared at him in shock and then chuckled a little.

"What is it?" James asked in an annoyed tone.

"I think this is the first time you've done the yelling in our arguments. Usually I'm the one who's red in the face mad while you're the calm and collected teaser."

"Would you like me to yell at you more?" James offered.

Lily shook her head 'no', but still chuckled, "I actually prefer when I'm doing the yelling." She pursed her lips in thought. "I kind of miss our screaming matches. It was a great way to let off steam."

James smirked and looked at the ground as he walked. "You never did hold back in our arguments."

"I didn't mean what I said, James." Lily stopped in her steps and this time, it was James that looked startled at the mention of his first name. "Every day, I feel exactly like Renner and I'm sure other muggle-borns feel the exact same way. We live in constant fear with Death Eaters and the rise of You-Know-Who and—"

"Voldemort," James said with defiance. "His name is Voldemort and we shouldn't fear a name. I am lucky. I know that. I have two wizard parents and I was always taught to speak my mind, stand for what I believe in, and fight for it too. I know it's hard for you and I can't imagine the horror of needing to hide your blood status and be ashamed just for having the gift of magic, but I also know you, Lily Evans, and I know that you are brave and you also stand for what you believe in. The way you comforted Renner—"

"I'm not brave though. That's what I'm trying to say. In my first year, someone," Lily struggled to find her words, "Someone made me— made me apologize for being a muggle-born." Lily looked at James, her green eyes watering. "And I did. I apologized. Because I was scared and I wasn't brave."

"Do you want to be brave?" James asked her as the two of them started walking again towards their room once more.

"What?" Lily asked hoarsely, looking at James. He was a few centimeters shorter than Lily, him not reaching his growth spurt quite yet.

"Do you want to be brave?" James repeated, slowly.

"Yes, of course I do. I am a Gryffindor after all."