My Nest

Chapter Fifty Five - Talking isn't Easy

"Do we have to?" Jungkook asked. He wasn't sure how to talk about this. He wasn't sure how much of this they already knew and what of it they actually wanted to talk about. He wasn't sure how it appeared to others but to him this was all far too much to ever talk about and deal with. This was his secret that he didn't tell anyone.

He had never told a single person because he felt like it was beyond wrong and rather messed up in an embarrassing way. He was so messed up and missed his grandad so much that to deal with it all his brain combined his memories of his grandad and made what seemed like his grandad in his mind so he could talk to him and get advice from him when really every word, image and movement was just one he had seen years prior.

He wasn't sure why he did it though, it was comforting for a few minutes while he forgot that it wasn't real and then the next it was pure pain when he walked to knowing his brain had given him hope for no reason all over again. He grandad was dead and he needed his brain to accept that and stop bringing him mentally to life again and again.

"All of it, Kookie." Namjoon said, going straight to askeding the mentally asked question rather than the verbal one he so often did. "I know it is a lot, Koo, and you have already been through so much today, but it is important that we talk about this soon because if your thoughts are anything to go off of you're going to suffer every time you sleep at the minute unless we try and deal with this." Namjoon told him.

Jungkook nodded a little bit, Namjoon was right. He was going to keep seeing his grandad till he dealt with any current issue that made him see him. He saw his grandad when he needed help with something in his life so if his mates could help him now then he wouldn't have to go through the torture of fake comfort again. "Where do we start?" Jungkook asked as he rubbed at his eyes, feeling a little bit better now he had more blood running through his body, giving him more energy.

"By getting yourself cleaned up and comfortable. Go have a shower or a bath. Have some time to yourself and your thoughts and then we can talk, okay?" Yoingi asked him. He knew Jungkook cleared his head when he had a shower and he thought a chance to process everything might help Jungkook figure out what he needed to say and talk about.

"Okay." Jungkook said with a small nod as he got off the bed and walked over to his cupboard to get a change of clothes, sure he hadn't wore his current outfit for very long but crying in anything made the outfit uncomfortable, he just wanted to put his onesie on and be as comfortable as possible.

"Namjoon, Tae, can you two come with me to make some food and get us all a drink please?" Jin asked of them with a gentle smile on his face. He felt like Jungkook could use some time to think and feel without people knowing every thought and feeling he had going on in his head. None of them minded Tae or Namjoon's gift, they loved everything about their mates including their gifts, but right now Jin thought Jungkook could use five minutes to just himself and he could give him that so he would.

"Okay." Tae said and stood up but his eyes were on Jungkook. The emotions of all his mates were getting a little overwhelming right now so he was sure that stepping out for a few minutes would help.

"Sure." Namjoon said, reluctantly getting up from his happy and comfortable place in Yoongi's arms. He knew what Jin was really doing and he agreed that Jungkook could probably do with some of the only extra privacy he could get right now.

Jungkook watched as Jin, Namjoon and Taehyung left the room and frowned a little bit, he wanted them all here right now but he didn't say anything and once they were out of the room he turned to look at Hoseok, Jimin and Yoongi before finally going into the bathroom to get washed up and have some time to think all on his own.

After putting his pajamas to the side and getting towels ready for when he was done he got undressed and into the shower. He closed his eyes and let the water fall down his body and felt his muscles begin to relax for a few seconds before his mind picked up on the first thought it wanted to go over and tourture him with it.