I need a prayer//larryxtravis smut

Chapter 10

moments passed by... why didn't he think to talk to the boy before hand? he had just gotten up and left before he could even say goodbye. was it all his fault? he shouldn't have rushed thing the way he did... it wasn't fair to travis; not to mention the pain he could be in right now— did he even really know it wasn't lust... well to be fair he hadn't even known if it was lust. just something so powerful overcame his whole being— he couldn't even bare to get out of bed. knowing damn well he would have to see his face... oh how he hated his own life— taking his hand to the wall...

one punch— that's all it would take right? just one... but as soon as his fist  touched the wall he couldn't stop... another one... his knuckles felt numb... but warm— as if blood would to be trickling down his wrist... not a word left his mouth as he pulled his fist away... his finger moving to feel the wounds— each wound he would feel would burn afterwords... crinkling his nose lifting his lip at each touch. pushing himself off the bed he shook his hand— rustling through his drawer pulling out what looked to be oldish bandages. wrapping his knuckles the best he could— looking into the mirror before he would leave his room... 'disgusting' he thought as he watched his hair fall into his face... quickly slapping his hand across his face..

leaving his room he would keep his head down— not saying to his mother— didn't even wait for sal. he just walked, not even going to school— passed the school he sat at a close by shop... occasionally looking into the store... the alcohol on the back shelf's looked away to appealing to his eyes... knowing he had a bit of cash on him— and with his older looks he could easily i in and buy atleast a bottle— that's all he needed to satisfy him. atleast to drown out the thought of him fucking everything up— what a waste of his own life... such a waste— eventually he ended up buying thr liquor keeping it in the brown bag it was purchased in popping off the top chugging a quarter of it down. who would even care if he gained alcohol addiction? who would try and help him? there wasn't a single soul on earth who he thought even tried to care— it was part of thr reason why his father left. he didn't care did he?

halfway through the bottle his hands felt numb— his mind... was hazy, it had been time for school to end but he couldn't walk home now— not in the state he was in... he would be better off sitting on the side of the road waiting till night fall... he had no reason to come home— his mother always worked... only time she would ever stay home is when she was sick... which was hardly ever since her immune system was rather good as is. getting up from his seat finding a pole.. quickly leaning against it the bottle in his hand swaying as he held his breath. hunching over as anger filled his heart again... "god why couldn't you've been better?" his voice filled with nothing but pure rage... quilt. something never heard from him before... a screeching yell came from his throat... then tears... him falling to his knees— sobbing.. "i could've been better... he wouldn't have left without a word." he cried.. trying to catch his breath... he couldn't. he sat there in pain— unable to breathe...