Cloud 9 || miya x reader ✓

i deserve it

TW: mentions of self harm

miya's pov

me and y/n aren't talking for three days. i feel like shit. i don't go out of home. i didn't even washed myslef since this day. i'm too weak to do anything.

i miss her.

"miya, come on for a dinner!" i've heard my mom's voice and sighed. i stood up but then fell on the floor. damn I'm too weak to even stand.

i climbed on my bed and sit on it.

"why are you-" she stopped when she looked at me "you look like a ghost." my mom said and sit next to me.

"can you give it to me? i can't stand" i said.

"why? miya you're acting so weird lately." she brushed my hair.

"its nothing. can you give me dinner? i'm hungry" i said. i didn't eat a lot for this three days.

"sure" she sighed and left the room.

————

when i played a video game I've heard a door bell. i furrowed my eyebrows and stood up. now, when i ate a bit i felt better physically.

i walked down the stairs and opened the door. my eyes widened and i start to breath faster.

"y-y/n" i looked at her. she looked beautiful as always.

"hey, uhm... can we talk?" she asked shyly.

i nodded and let her in. she took her shoes off. we went upstairs in silence.

we walked to my room and sat on my bed.

"look... i thought about it and... at first, i'm so sorry that i hit you. i feel so bad"

"it's okay. i'm sorry for being an asshole."

"you're not an asshole just... i thought... i talked with your mother... i don't know how to tell you this." she laughed nervously "we think that you... need to go to psychologist"

"w-what?" i said and feeling my breath sped up.

"you don't need to be scared" she grabbed my hand carefully.

then i saw that she looked at my wrist. i try to hide it with my sleeve but she pulled it up.

"m-miya" she looked at thin, red lines on my wrist.

"i'm sorry" i felt tears in my eyes. i hide my face in my hands. "i'm so so sorry. i did it because of impulse. i wanted to forget about it for a moment. i deserve it."

she started to cry and hugged me thigtly. i hugged her too and cried to her shoulder.

"i love you. you don't deserve it, miya." she whispered.

"i don't wanna feel like this" i sobbed.

"i'm with you, we're gonna go through this together."

"i love you" i said and pulled out. i kissed lightly y/n's lips.

"you need to go to the psychologist. please do it. you don't need to be scared. i'll be with you." she cupped my face.

"o-okay" i nodded.