Reality Is a Lie

Change

I kept thinking about what Roman and I had talked about. I was certain that the other light sides knew, and it made me even more anxious than usual. Did Deceit know I had gone there? Would he be angry if I told him? I had lost mine and Remus' game, but that didn't matter to me now. I was lost in my own thoughts. Would Deceit scream again if I told him what had happened? To be honest, I was scared. I didn't want him to be angry at me. I cared for Deceit a lot. Seeing him angry at me... it hurt so much. I tried to sleep for hours, tossing and turning, but it was all for nought. I stared up at the ceiling, about to give up, when I heard a knock at the door. It opened, and it was Janus. He leant against the doorframe, and whispered, "Are you alright? I can hear you from my room? You haven't stopped wriggling since you got to bed, you worm."
I stared back at him for a second, before replying. "Oh, yeah! I'm fine! Sorry to keep you awake!"
He sighed and rolled his eyes at me. "Don't lie to me. What's the matter, spit it out."
"It's nothing, Dee, seriously!"
"You're lying. You don't call me Dee unless you're being whiny and a little bitch. Now answer me."
I sighed. Was I really going to have to play this card against him?
"Oh my god, Janus you're acting like my mother or something! I'm fine!"
He opened his mouth and put his hand to his chest, I thought he was feigning shock, but the piercing gaze he sent me was enough to tell me he was pissed.
Shit. Bad move.
"I don't know what it is you're trying to hide from me, but you're terrible at it. You're the most suspicious-acting person I think I've ever met!"
I buried my face in my duvet.
"Well you can't see me now, so..."
"Stop trying to change the subject!" He said urgently.
Fuck. Another bad move. What was I supposed to do now? One last try to stop it? But what could I do?
"Deceit, it's not a hugely important thing, okay? It's just me being dumb."
And there it was. My final blunder. The three worst things I could've done, I did all in succession. I was shocked that Janus didn't get mad with me there and then, but what he did say made me feel ashamed, because it was exactly what I had done to him.
"Virgil... do you not trust me? It's because I'm only 'Deceit' to you, isn't it?" He sighed and looked up at me. "That's how stupid you sound, now tell me what it is already."
"You're gonna get angry!" I whined.
"I'm not gonna get angry, Virge." He came and sat by my side. "I swear it to you, right now, I won't."
I sighed.
"The other day... when I was really upset..." I looked up at him for reassurance.
"Go on?"
"I... I kinda let Roman into my room? He came in through the window and I let him in because he insisted and I felt bad but I swear I won't do it again!" I looked away from him in fear.
He grabbed my hand.
"I'm sorry, Virgil. This was on me. I suppose... I kept blowing up at you all the time, and I made you think that someone comforting you was a bad thing. I'm sorry."
I looked back up at him shyly and he smiled. "Roman is always welcome here! He's Remus' brother! It's Patton we don't like, okay? Promise me you'll always remember that! He's got a stick too far up his own ass that nobody could ever get it out! So, don't worry! You can invite him over again if you'd like! I'm sure it'd make Remus very happy too!"
I was so relieved. I was certain Janus would hate me, that he would be angry and yell at me, that he would scold me and send me spiralling again. But he didn't. He changed for me. He wasn't bad. That's how I knew the light sides - no, Cat Man, wasn't to be trusted. Janus only did what was best for the Thomas, even if he did see things differently, he was never bad. Patton liked to pretend that there were bad sides, when in reality, there were bad parts to each side. There truly were no light or dark sides, it was just Patterned's way of dividing us all.
"Do you think Roman would accept a dinner invitation? Patton has all of them pretty much under his thumb."
He smiled at me.
"Well, it's at least worth a shot, isn't it? After all, it would seem that he listens to you, more so than Remus or I."
"But he probably believes what Patterned told him!"
He smirked, and laughed quietly. "Patterned. But, yes, you're probably right, especially after how he saw you. I assume you told him - and I'm not angry at you for that, either, so don't worry - so changing his perception of us will be hard."
"Do you think we can do it?" I asked Janus.
He laughed again. "Of course! I might not be Logan, but I'm still clever! Trust me, we can do this!"
I smiled up at him and he patted me on the cheek. "C'mon, hopefully you'll be able to sleep now, alright?" I nodded and settled down again, but not before hearing Janus chuckle whilst muttering "Patterned." And, as he smiled at me and closed the door, I finally felt able to sleep. Although, I did make one last decision to myself.
No matter what, I was going to get Roman to come over. Whether it would be for dinner, lunch, brunch, it didn't matter to me. I had to undo what the Cat Guy had created. And, in order for that to happen, it was probably best that the twins reconcile.
It had been far too long, after all.