Reality Is a Lie

Babysitting Remus

"Virgil!" Remus burst in, smiling widely and uncannily. "We haven't had a day to ourselves for such a long time! How have you been?!"
"I've been great, Remus. How have you been?"
"Perfectly well! isn't this nice! Us two buddies, hanging out like bros!... Like bros..."
I could see that Remus was thinking about Roman again, and I honestly felt bad for him. Deceit kept him hidden away here where he could cause no mischief and only annoy us. He hadn't seen Roman for a long time now.
"You alright Remus? Should we go play Mariokart?" He perked up at that suggestion. He loved Mariokart.
"Ha! have fun losing, Virgin- oh, I meant Virgil."
"Alright then, it's on you pickley trash man!"
We raced downstairs to see who would get player one. Of course, Remus won - only because he cheated though.
He turned it on and chose Wario, and I chose toad. Because of my title and skill - anxiety - I could move the controller very fast when I became panicky (which was often, since Remus loved to taunt me) which was a slight advantage. His driving was all over the place, and he seemed to only want to slow me down. Whenever I did win, I would laugh victoriously and then Remus was annoy me by - well most people could guess.
However this time, like most times, Remus won every game. We played video games all day until Deceit came.
"Ugh. Light sides. Stuck-up pricks, all of them!" he seemed annoyed, which was common after he went to see the light sides.
"You okay, Deceit?"
He smiled at me. "Of course! Papa Deceit can take care of himself!" he then ran up to me and picked me up like a baby.
"Deceit I'm not a child! Put me down!"
"Please, apart from Remus you're the youngest one here!"
"Deceit I'm literally older than you!"
"Bah! Premature forms don't count!"
"Yes they do!"
Remus was laughing his ass off, as expected.
"Virgil, if you don't wanna be treated like a kid, maybe don't bicker like one you ickle bickle baby - awwwwww" he cackled maniacally.
I tried to push Deceit away but he was much stronger than me. He was laughing too.
"Good one, Remus!" he said, nearly crying. I was, of course, bright red.
"Shut the fuck up! I mean it guys! I'm going to kill you both!" I was super pissed at this, and just sat in his arms; I knew he'd get bored soon enough.
"Alright, alright Virgin boy! I'll stop." Remus said, bowing as he always did when his joke was over. However, he stopped mid-bow and said. "Just one last joke - would the grump baby like his bottle!" He then stood upright, took me out of Deceit's arms and squirted milk in my face. I then panicked, and shoved them angrily.
"I'm going to kill you Remus!" I yelled!
"Oops! Is somebody angry?" He smirked at me. I could tell based on his stance that he was getting nervous too. I was about to punch him out of pure rage when Deceit grabbed me and dragged me off. "It's clear to see you two have had enough of each other today. Such a shame, it was going so well." Deceit pushed me into my room and I sat on my bed, ashamed. I was never one for violence but Remus? Remus really set me off. His opposite of kid-friendly demeanour, yet kid-like aspect of always taking the joke too far was a horrible combination that I hated.
Yet the only people we had was each other, I mean, the rejects had to have each other's backs, right?. I opened my door and yelled for Remus. He came up the stairs, stone faced for once.
"Yes?"
"Sorry. Just don't pour milk on me again. I hate milk. It stinks."
He smiled at me and started laughing again.
"Thank God! I thought you were gonna punch me! Alright, Virgin boy, I won't do it again."
"Thanks." I said as I closed the door. Somehow, Deceit had made his way into my room.
"Very mature of you, Virgil, especially considering it was obvious you were about to throat punch him."
"Shut up Janus."
"Still grumpy are we?" He stood up with flair and I knew what was about to happen.
"Oh no. Get out."
"Nope!"
He grabbed me and tickled me so much that I couldn't breathe. I was rolling on the floor, tears in my eyes, and trying to kick him away. When he decided that it was enough I had to dry my face.
"There are so many other things you could do except for tickle me."
"I know. It's just the one that amuses me the most."
He then kissed my cheek and disappeared.
Typical Janus.