Sᴀʀᴀʜ Pᴀᴜʟsᴏɴ Cʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ Oɴᴇsʜᴏᴛs

Insecurity

Wilhemina Venable

Warnings: Insecurity

Y/n

"Honey! I'm home!!" I call out, but I'm met with silence, which is unusual. I am usually greeted by my sweet Mina, her cane quickly tapping on the floor towards the door when I come home. But today is quiet. Her car is here, she is here, but the warm presence, her warm arms and kisses are not. "Mina honey? Where are you?" I call out again as I take of my shoes and hang my coat and bag. I walk through the house, checking the living room and kitchen and everywhere else downstairs, no Mina. I go upstairs, and our bedroom is only a few feet from the steps. I stand in the doorway of the bedroom, and our bed is next to the door, so I have to walk in the room to see it. I hear a small sniffle coming from the bed and walk through the door, peeking over at our lavender king sized bed, and I see a small bump at the head of the bed. I step closer and see Mina's bright red hair poking from above the covers. "Oh love.." I breathe out, and she turns her head, looking at me with the most beaten expression, all of her pain and sadness taking over her usual sparkling eyes. I step closer and closer, and when I get to the bed I sit on the side, close to her now and reach out for her. "No." she says quietly but sharply, and I sigh softly, but I know that she wasn't in the right state of mind right now. "It's ok. I won't touch you right now. Can, can you tell me what's got you so upset, hm?" I hum out softly and move to kneel on the floor next to the bed, and she rolls over slowly and carefully, facing me now but she avoids my eyes.

She stays quiet for a moment, and I just let her collect her thoughts, being patient and I have a soft expression on my face. Finally she looks into my eyes and speaks, quietly and gently. "My back.. It's.. It just makes me think things.. I don't want to think. It makes me feel less than, than what you've made me believe I am." When she's done speaking she starts to tear up again and she cups her own cheek. I can practically feel the pain radiating off of her, and I just want to take it all away. We've gotten so far together, as our relationship grows, so does our own self love, and this is a little bit of a setback. "My sweet Mina.. Can I make you feel better? Can I make you feel the way I've made you feel before?" I say so gently, almost cooing my words out, and she sniffles a little and thinks for a good moment, before she nods, giving me permission to do what I wish. I smile and slowly lean over her, so she is aware that I'm doing so, and I place a gentle kiss in between her eyebrows. "My sweet Mina." I whisper softly and smile, and then I stand back up and unbutton my blouse, smiling softly at her as I do so and then I unclip my bra before unbuttoning my pants and slipping them off, hearing the soft huff as they hit the floor. My last item of clothing is my panties, and I pull those down easily before walking toward her.

Her eyes stay on me, not in a sexual manner, just because she needed to see me, and know I was real. I lean over and take her hand in mine. "Ok my love, can you sit up for me?" I ask softly and she hesitates, a little confused I believe on why I have asked her to do so, but she nods and I help her sit at the edge of the bed in front of me. Once she's comfortable I take the hand that I'm holding, and I place it on my stomach. "This, is an insecurity." I say clearly and an even more confused look washes over her face, but she stays quiet. I feel her start to stroke my stomach with her thumb and I take her other hand and put both of her hands on my breasts. "These are as well." I say in the same tone as before. I start moving her hands more, to my thighs, my hips, my bottom and even my biceps. She strokes the small stretch marks on my hips, pats my bottom lightly, squeezes my arms in a gentle way, her soft hands I make roam all over my body, and even if I am controlling her hands I know she's touching me with love, I can feel it. When I've finished I sit next to her and kiss the back of her hands. "My body is something I have no control over, yet I still feel insecure about it, feel like I'm not worthy of anyone's love, especially yours. But I feel the love that you have for my body, for all of me, and it makes me feel a lot more confident. You, my beautiful Mina, make me feel so loved, and I want to make you feel the same exact way. You know every single freckle and scar on my body, and I know yours." I say softly and she starts to tear up again. She pulls away from my hands and I think she's upset again, but then she pulls down the straps of her nightgown and slides it off, revealing her naked form. With my help, she stands in front of me, and she takes my hands as I did to her. "T-These.. are an insecurity." She moves my hands to her breasts. "So are these." she whispers and slides my hands to her shoulders. She moves my hands to her thighs and then puts one of my hands on her chin, and then she slowly turns around and without her help I put my hands lightly on her back. "That.. is my biggest insecurity." She whispers sadly as I trace her spine. I sigh softly and stand up, walking slowly behind her, only having to take a few steps before I wrap my arms gently around her middle. "Your body is something you have no control over. You feel insecure, not worthy, but I think your beauty is unmatched, even the definition of the word beautiful, could not describe you. I love you, all of you, for all that it is, and that will never change. I love your body, all of you, and I want you to feel comfortable in your skin. So I will make it my life goal, to make you see what I see in you." When I finish my small speech, I tilt my head and look at the side of my loves face, seeing tears flowing down her cheek, and I let her cry, knowing this was the pain leaving her. That horrible pain, it comes and goes, but it makes me feel so upset, my Mina never ever deserves to feel pain.

We stay like this for awhile, but eventually she turns around and wraps her arms around me. I back up, laying us down on the bed carefully and I let her lay on me. I pull the covers over our intertwined bodies and we both relax. We're drifting off now, but I hear my sweet girl mumble, "I love you y/n" before we fall asleep, cuddling close to each other, engulfed in each others love.