Ambivalence

8

Waking up before her spared Derek the lecture that was destined to come when she realized their sleeping position. Her head was nestled comfortably in his chest with his arms wrapped around her. He lost any chance of a peaceful morning when he noticed the gum that must've fallen out of his mouth and into her hair.

"Crap..." he murmured and as silent as he thought he was being, Meredith began fidgeting against him and gaining consciousness.

"Crap what?" she asked groggily.

"We- I...It's just," he stuttered in a panic that made Meredith curious as to what could have possibly happened.

"What, Derek?" she questioned again. Meredith rubbed her eyes until they were pink in color and reached up to scratch her head. "Derek..." she stammered through gritted teeth.

"It's not that bad," he lied. His fingernails were grated down to the brim and he refused to make eye contact with her because he was afraid one look might kill him.

"Not that bad? Derek you got gum stuck in my hair!" she shouted. Before he had the chance to defend himself the couch pillows were flying at his head.

"Hey!" he screeched as she attacked him. "You act like I did it on purpose?"

"It being an accident doesn't change the fact that there is bubblegum stuck in my hair!" Meredith patronized and continued throwing pillows until there were none left to throw; only to replace the cotton with her fists.

"It's spearmint," he corrected. Derek grasped her wrists and pushed her body down until she was laying flat against the couch, immobilizing her and making it impossible for her to hit him.

"Would you relax?" he held her as she fought to escape his hold. "We'll get it out. If you stop attacking me with your...tiny fists. Deal?" he bargained.

Meredith nodded and he reluctantly let go of her wrists, which resulted in her waiting less than a second before punching him again. "Damn it woman," Derek held his hands up in defense as she swung at his chest, stomach, and even took a swing at his face before he swooped her up from the couch and held her body against his with her legs wrapped around his waist. Their journey to the kitchen was longer than it should've been due to her persistence in paying him back.

'Unless you have some big plan that doesn't involve you cutting out a chunk of my hair..." Meredith grumbled.

Derek went through the cupboards and pulled out a container of peanut butter. "Do you think this hasn't happened to me before?" he asked rhetorically. "All this hair, things are just waiting to get stuck in it."

"Yeah?" Meredith questioned sarcastically. "Well right about now I'd like to stick my foot up your ass," she stated.

"That's no way to talk to the guy who's voluntarily cleaning gum out of your hair," he closed the cabinet and moved to the spot in between her legs, standing in front of her as she sat on the counter with her arms crossed and the same scowl she gave him whenever he'd royally screwed up. "Unless..." Derek uncrossed her arms and rested them on his shoulders as she hesitantly parted her legs enough to allow him to get closer. "I wouldn't be surprised if that was a new kink of yours," he murmured interestedly. When she failed to respond and her breath hitched in her throat Derek took it as a yes. "Oh? Well," he leaned in closer. "Maybe we should try it sometime," he suggested.

Meredith's legs wrapped around his waist and she held his face in her hands as the forgetful events that took place on countertops similar to the one she was sitting on flooded her memory. Her eyes didn't know whether to hold his gaze or settle on his lips. "How about..." she lured him in and Derek listened attentively, "you get this gum out of my hair."

"Good idea," he pretended to agree as he unscrewed the lid. "After we get it out?" he pleaded.

"One step at a time," Meredith turned him down. When she stopped glaring at the disappointed frown on his face her attention turned to his hand that was currently scooping out a handful of peanut butter. "You can't use a spoon?"

"You can't go five minutes without bossing someone around?" he rephrased. Derek took the scoop of butter and coated the strands of hair that held the sticky glob. The gum vanished with ease as Meredith examined every pore of his chiseled face while he worked. They'd kissed since he had shown up to the hospital, but this was the first time in years that she got the chance to really look at him.

"It's out?" she pulled herself out of her thoughts when she realized he hadn't been running his fingers through her hair for a while.

"Yep, now turn around," he ordered calmly.

"What?" Meredith was flustered by his sudden demands.

"Turn..." Derek held her hands and helped her slide off the countertop before holding onto her shoulders and turning her around to face the sink when she sat there confusedly.

Realization hit her when he reached for the faucet knob and water spewed out. Meredith stuck her head under the sink and held it there while he disappeared into her bathroom to retrieve her shampoo. Derek wouldn't admit how much he enjoyed washing her hair when they'd lived together. He didn't think to grab a towel until she turned back around to face him and her darkened blonde curls were dripping water down her cheek. His thumb cleared the liquid from her face and he noticed her look of uncertainty.

"What?" he asked her solemnly when she furrowed her brow. He didn't know what happened between then and the moment she reached into the sink behind her and covered his neck and face with bubbles from the sink. Meredith's giggles and cries of laughter cancelled out the scowl on Derek's face. He thought back to less than an hour before when her fists were flying at him. His need to get the last word and win every fight took over and a few moments later they were both soaked in bubbles and undrained shampoo water.

"Derek?" The same look of uncertainty that caught his attention before revived as she said his name. It seemed as if there was something she was dying to say but couldn't figure out whether to do it or not.

"Meredith?" He mimicked her uncertain expression, except his was for the reason of not knowing what was going on in her head.

Neither of their desires to know the answer were fulfilled as the interruption of her doorbell knocked them both into reality.

"I'll..." Derek offered.

"I- I got it," Meredith coughed and hurried to the door. She hadn't been expecting any company and there wasn't a buzzer indicating someone was trying to come up.

"Christopher."