Chapter 22

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"Hm....how about Lexi?" Nat suggested, a smile on her plump lips. Bruce only grinned in response and shrugged. He didn't really care about naming the kid—as long as they had a kid to name, that was all he wanted.

Bucky and Steve nodded in acceptance, thinking it was a good idea. Lexi was a beautiful name. So, hearing no objections to it, Natasha smiled a little happier, and then glanced down at Bucky's stomach. The gel was still on it.

"Let's continue then, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah!" Bruce quickly straightened up and, smiling out of embarrassment, quickly picked up the wand and placed it back on Bucky's stomach. The gel had smeared a little when the male had sat up, but it didn't prevent the group from being able to see the fetus on the TV. Natasha watched the baby with adoring eyes, and despite the fact that it's gender wasn't known, or much less knowing if the delivery was even going to be smooth sailing--knock on wood--she could just tell that this baby was going to change all their lives for the better.

Tears welling up in her eyes, she laid her hand on Bruce's shoulder and smiled at him.

The shifter easily returned the action. Before long though, he focused back on Bucky and Steve. "As far as I can tell, the baby's healthy. I'll need to check to make sure she doesn't have any birth defects, of course, so you'll have to do a blood test and an ultrasound." As he spoke, he put the wand down momentarily so that he could grab a napkin, then began to wipe it and Bucky down. "Besides that, do you have any concerns, James? Have you been feeling OK? Any nausea, headaches, uh..." Bruce trailed off and looked away, his cheeks reddening slightly. His next question would be a little weird, but he was Bucky's OB-GYN, so he'd need to ask it. "Any...bleeding? Down there?"

To say the last question caught Bucky--and even Steve--off guard would be an understatement. Bucky's cheeks flushed a bright red and he quickly shook his head. He was still a guy! Why would he be bleeding down there?!...well, OK, he wasn't really sure if him being a male really mattered anymore when it came to what his body did now. But he hadn't been bleeding!

"N-no, of course not." He answered finally. Bruce's other questions still rang in his mind, though. He had been nauseous, and he had been having headaches--headaches so bad that sometimes he thought he'd pass out. Turning momentarily to look at Steve, the blonde was already looking at him--go figure--,he couldn't help the flash of worry that appeared in his eyes. Did him experiencing those symptoms have some deeper meaning?...Bucky bit his lip hard, and seeking some form of comfort, he grabbed Steve's hand and squeezed it.

"I...have been feeling nauseous. And I've been getting these really bad headaches." Bucky turned his attention to Bruce but quickly spared a glance at Nat. Her eyebrows were furrowed, mouth open ever so slightly. It was clear that she was worried. When he focused back on Bruce, he saw a similar expression on the shifter. Unintentionally, he squeezed Steve's hand tighter. "...What does that mean? Is the kid gonna be OK?"

It took a few moments for Bruce to respond, and Bucky felt his anxiety worsen with each passing second.

"It...depends, honestly. How long have you been experiencing these headaches and nausea? Is there any other discomfort you've been feeling?" Pausing, Bruce had to hold back a deep, stressed sigh. He didn't want to worry Bucky any more than he probably already was. "If your headaches worsen, much less you experience anything new, such as cramps or pain in your abdominal area, that could signal you're having a miscarriage." Bruce maintained eye contact with Bucky the whole time he spoke, but he spared a glance at Steve and Nat, both of whom had deep worry etched into their expressions. He would've mirrored their faces had he not been the person who was supposed to remain calm.

Bucky was silent for a few moments, his mind racing and his heart beating impossibly fast. Actually, it wasn't beating fast--it felt like it was starting to slow, and the tired man could swear he was hearing each thump. It was all he could hear. He'd just gotten over his fear of possibly dying from the birth of the kid, and now he was learning that the baby could die instead?!

Steve's gentle squeeze on their intertwined hands woke him out of his daze. Bucky's eyes shot to the blonde's, and when they made eye contact, he felt like breaking down. This was beginning to be too much again.

"When will we be able to do the blood test and ultrasound?" Steve asked suddenly, breaking away from Bucky's anxious stare. He knew the man was drained enough already, and considering he'd been with him long enough to know what to ask about the pregnancy, he figured he'd take over.

"Next week, hopefully." Bruce replied. He then took his place next to Nat and held her hand reassuringly. She was freaking out almost as much as Bucky was—almost. "But please, try not to worry too much. It's just better to ask these questions now since miscarriages tend to usually happen in the first trimester."

Steve simply nodded at his words and then looked back at Bucky. The brunette looked drained. This was probably as much as he could take for the day.
Looking back up at Bruce and Nat with a tired sort of smile, Steve began to speak once more.

"We'll try not to." Steve then looked back to Bucky and sighed softly, the sound filled with concern. The brunette was still holding onto his hand, his grip iron-like. It was starting to seem like Bucky just couldn't catch a break.

Well, if that was the case, then he would do whatever he needed to do to relieve any extra stress Bucky might feel. Determined, he reached for the ex-assassin's discarded shirt and began to slip it onto him.

"Thanks, Bruce." He then said once he finished dressing his partner, turning his attention once again to the other couple. "We're probably going to get going..." Steve motioned to the still-silent Bucky, and Nat and Bruce nodded understandingly. Nat made a mental note to text Bucky later on, as it was clear that the news of a possible miscarriage was really affecting him.

Without another word, Steve helped Bucky sit up, and after smiling reassuringly at the other two people, he then led his lover out the room.

He signed him out of the clinic, making an appointment for next week, then exited the building.

"...How are you feelin', Buck?" He questioned softly as they began to walk back home. He mentally thanked whoever was up above that they had both worn disguises—if you could even call them that. They both had on a cap, Steve also wearing a pair of sunglasses and Bucky not.

Anyway, Steve could tell that Bucky still needed to hold onto his hand, and their disguises allowed them to continue their public display of affection without being awed at.

"I feel..." Bucky began slowly, his head casted down and his attention on the small bump that was forming on his stomach. "I feel scared. Not for myself—I'm over that. But for the kid." It took all he had in him not to stutter the words out. "...It feels like no matter what I do, where I go, something bad always happens to me. I just—" A heavy sigh left him, and it was then at that point that he finally looked at Steve. "I feel like I can't be happy. I'm not allowed to be happy."







A/N: once again I have taken FOREVER TO UPLOAD A NEW CHAPTER 😭😭😭 IM SO SO SORRY GUYS!!!!

I really hope you all have been well, and that your year has been great :"")

As for the status of this book, chapters are probably gonna be slow 😭 But this story is not discontinued or on a hiatus!!! It never will be!!!!

I think I'll actually be able to finish it up soon :D I suspect there's not many chapters left, mayyybe like 10? I'm not sure, but I hope you guys will stick around to the end :)

Anyway, @Emzrose333 thank you for the name recommendation :) Sorry to anyone who recommended a name, but they were the first to give a name 😭

Once again, I hope you guys are great and I'll see you in the next chapter owo

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