Never Go To A Stark Party

Chapter 9

Deciding to head home, Steve said his goodbyes to Sam a bit reluctantly and made his way back to the Avengers tower. He lagged on getting to his destination absentmindedly.

When he finally did arrive, he inhaled a long breath. "Please don't run into him, please don't run into him..." He repeated the words as if they were a mantra and stepped into the building.

Immediately, he was bumped into. Just his luck.

He jumped slightly before taking a step back. Glancing at the person that had walked into him, he could practically feel his heart racing out of his chest. A low groan left him.

"I-I... Steve..."

Hearing his name spoken softly by the familiar brunette caused a blush to quickly land itself on Steve. He gulped nervously then cleared his throat, looking away.

"Bucky."

Silence filled with unwavering tension and awkwardness quickly consumed the space between the two men. Bucky chewed his bottom lip nervously, not sure how to start what he was going to say.

"I... Should go to my room now." Steve said after the silence became too much for him. The brunette hastily began to follow the blonde when he started walking away.

"I need to tell you something, can I come with?"

"Now..." The other man sighed quietly as he approached the elevator. "Now isn't a good time, Buck." He kept his eyes glued to the elevator door, waiting impatiently for them to open.

The ex-soldier grabbed his arm and made him look at him. His stare was firm and a bit hesitant. "There isn't a better time than right now, Steve. I promise...," He exhaled lowly. "I won't bother you again afterward."

There was an obvious glint of reluctance that showed in Steve's eyes, but he made no effort to reject Bucky again. He didn't respond and only entered the elevator when it opened, the other following him in.

In silence, the men traveled upwards to the floor Steve's room was located. Neither bothered to exchange words or glances, one too nervous to and the other too awkward.

Steve speedily walked to his room when they got to the right floor. He threw his door open and instantly felt relaxed when the familiar smell of paper and paint filled his nostrils. He glanced back at Bucky, the man having been standing a few feet away from him, an obvious attempt at giving Steve the space he so desperately wanted. He stifled a sigh and nodded his head towards his room, urging him in.

Walking over to his bedroom, he began to undress. He took his jacket off his lean torso then did the same with his long-sleeved shirt. Slipping an old t-shirt on after digging around his bedside drawer for a split second, he felt his muscles loosen up.

Better get comfy. This'll probably be good. He exhaled a heavy breath as he thought the sarcastic words. Leave it up to Bucky to not let you mope.

After changing his jeans to a pair of loose pajama pants, he walked back out to Bucky who was waiting anxiously on the couch. He took in a deep breath to steady himself before he sat beside the man.

"What did you want to say?" He asked blankly, tone apathetic so that he didn't seem vulnerable.

He watched as Bucky tensed before digging through his jeans and ripping out a crumpled paper. He blushed darkly, eyes glued to the paper. Steve watched his actions, confused.

"I... I'm not too good with words, so I wrote this beforehand." Bucky cleared his throat, nervous, then momentarily glanced at the other. The look in his eyes asked if the blonde had understood what he meant. Steve only nodded before motioning for him to get on with it.

"Steve, I'm... I'm so fuckin' sorry." The brunette ripped his eyes away from the paper as he spoke the words. He then looked back down at the paper just as quickly as he looked up from it. "I never would have said what I said if I knew what I do now. Everything I told you yesterday, I regret it all. I never in a million years would have ever wished for you to think I didn't care about you. Stevie, you're all I've ever had. You're the only thing that's continuously been there for me. When--when I was under HYDRA's control, you were there, always. You were that little voice in the back of my head, tellin' me I'd get out of that hellhole soon enough; that I just had to keep fighting for a little more. Your voice was what got me by all those years--if it wasn't for you, I would have lost myself completely. I wouldn't even be here right now." The man's voice cracked as he spoke the last sentence, but he ignored it and continued to read from the paper in his hands.

"Never have I ever not cared about you. You're the only reason I'm still here! If... If I lost you, I'd be losing myself. I'd be losin' the only thing that ever cared for me, that ever treated me like an equal and not a tool. Even if my actions said otherwise, you were still there. The fact that I even accused you of being selfish is complete bullshit, and I hope I get the worst fuckin' nightmare ever tonight, because that is so far from the truth it makes me want to vomit. You're the most selfless man I've ever met, and you've always been like that. Always fightin'..." He chuckled lightly, a tear dripping down the curve of his lips. It landed on the tightly clenched paper and muddied up his writing. "Always... Always doing what you thought was right. Even if it hurt you."

Bucky's shoulders began to shake as he cried. Everything had begun to get to him; reality had finally hit him. Yes, he realized he had most likely lost Steve, but he didn't realize it was going to hurt so bad.

Soon enough, the writing on the paper became unintelligible.

"Sh-shit...!" The brunette cursed under his breath. He frantically tried to dry it against his jeans but stopped when the haste action only further wrinkled it up.

Steve watched him quietly, eyes wide.

"I... I guess that's over with." Bucky muttered as he looked up at Steve. "I just ruined the only thing that was giving me a chance at winning you back. I'm such a fuck up." He sniffled and wiped away the few tears that were still clinging to his eyes.

"Bucky, I..." The blonde began to speak but was quickly stopped by the brunette.

"I know, you want me to leave...! But, but just give me a few more minutes. I'll stop cryin', I promise." The words were hastily rushed out of the ex-assassin's mouth, clearly showing how anxious he was to say what he wanted to stay. Steve decided to just nod and let the man speak.

The disheveled ex-assassin took a few moments to calm himself and silence the frantic thoughts in his head.

"What I'm going to tell you right now... It's going to seem unbelievable. I'm not asking you to humor me, just to listen. I promise I'm not fucking with you."

He stared at Steve until he received a confused nod then continued.

"Steve, I... That night, at the party--Tony's party. We...had sex, right?"

The blonde nodded, even more bewildered. Why was he saying it like it was an event he had no idea about? "Yeah...? You don't remember?"

"I'll get to that part in a minute, just--just listen. Please."

"Alright... Alright."

Bucky continued after a few silent moments passed. "After the party, I started gettin' real sick. I was throwing up constantly, getting nauseous over the simplest fucking smells. It was like my body was getting experimented on again and any small little thing could send me runnin' to the bathroom. After the third week of it, I decided I'd ask Nat for help. She suggested a few things, thought I might've caught the flu or somethin', before telling me to take a pregnancy test."

Steve's eyes widened slightly but he remained silent, much to Bucky's relief and paranoia.

"I thought she was joking, so I went along with it and did what she said to." Bucky paused for a brief amount of time, trying to word what he was going to say. "Steve, the... There's no better way to say this. The pregnancy test; it came out as positive... You're the father."