When Skies are Gray

Him.

*****BUCKY'S POV*****
Out of everyone I made amends with over the years I'm glad I was able to apologize to Tony. I wanted nothing more than to see him live a long life with his family. Now. I'm sitting at his funeral.
His daughter, y/n, has been sitting outside almost the entire time. Peter was with her for a while. She shouldn't be alone right now.
"What was it like?" Natasha asked me referring to the blip.
"Just weird. It only felt like a second and then I was back." I respond forgetting about the conversation I was having with Natasha and Steve.
"Its been almost 6 years. I thought I had lost you forever again Buck." Steve says giving me a small smile.
"I know. I'm back now thanks to Tony." I say as a down a sip of my drink. All I can think about was the promise I made to him.
I will never betray Tony again. I will protect pepper and y/n like my own.
"I hope she's okay with meeting me." I blurt referring to y/n.
"She will be." Nat reassured me. "Once Pepper tells her how fond Tony was of you. She will want to meet you."
"Do you think she will forgive me?" I ask not feeling confident.
"I'm positive pal." Steve says with a pat on my shoulder.
"James... this is y/n." I hear pepper say from behind me. Steve and Nat pop up so fast and smile at y/n. They're both so fond of her. As I turn around I feel her eyes on me. Suddenly I look up and meet her eyes. It's as if I was standing in the street on a rainy day and suddenly the sun came out.
"Hi." Is all I can get out. Wow. She's beautiful. Growing up I dated a lot of girls, but her, she's different. She made me see the world in all its beauty, in color.
She doesn't respond, only stared. Not in an awkward way, more like at a loss for words.
"Peanut, this is my best friend I told you about. This is James." Steve breaks the silence and y/n glares at him. I can tell she can see color now too.
Suddenly, she shakes her head and turns to walk away. Pepper and Natasha close behind.
"What did I do?" I ask Steve in shock.
********* normal POV *******
So, this is color. After a moment, I realize how long I've been staring at him. When Steve says something I hardly hear him, but when I look at him I can see his blonde hair and blue eyes. Wow. And Natasha her hair is red. This whole time I thought it was just brown, but wow what an amazing shade. Once I get over the initial shock I don't know what else to do so I turn and walk away kind of quickly. I can hear footsteps behind me. I hope it's not his. Or do I? I don't know.
"Honey? What's the matter?" I hear my mom say as she grabs my shoulder. I turn to her and see Nat standing with her.
I didn't know what to say, "it's him." Was all that came out.
At first my mothers face was confused but then she realized I could tell by her facial expression.
"What?" Nat asked still confused.
"She can see color. Because of him." My mother spat out almost in as much shock as me. Nat's jaw dropped.
"I guess I assumed you already saw color. I didn't know you didn't know who it was yet. Are you sure it's him?" Nat asked trying to make sure she's clear with what's going on.
I kinda turn my head "your hair is red. Steve's eyes... they're blue." I say and saw Nat finally understand.
"Okay.. well, that's a good thing right? You found him!" Nat says and she's happy. I think I am too, but it's him. He's so much older than me, kinda of, and he killed my grandparents. Well he kind of did.
"Honey this is a good thing. He swore to Tony that he'd protect you and now he has another reason to. You're his soulmate." My mother says teary eyed. I can't tell if she's happy or sad or concerned.
********** BUCKY'S POV ***********
I try to follow her but Steve grabs me.
"Just give her some time pal. She will come around just like Tony did." He says but he doesn't know what just happened. All those years ago before I was kidnapped I told him I saw color just to get him off my back. I didn't think I'd see color now, 70 years in the future.
"Steve, you don't understand. I can finally see color." I say following y/n with my eyes. She's beautiful.
"What? I thought you already could! With that girl, Tracy? Why did you lie?" Steve asked he must be so confused.
"I only told you that because I didn't want you to think I hadn't found someone, since I dated so many girls. Really I've never seen color, until her." I say still in shock. My eyes move to Steve's.
"Okay... well she must have seen it too. That's how it works. So, maybe she's just in shock. I'm sure she didn't expect this to happen at her fathers funeral." Steve says trying to reassure me.
"Or she didn't want it to be with a murderer. The one who killed her grandparents." I say bringing up my past. She knows. Pepper told me she would tell her everything. She must hate me and now herself for what's going on.
"Don't think like that. She knows you didn't have a choice." Steve says. "Give her some time. She will come around." He adds.
Time? I know far too well how much time I've wasted without her. I don't want time I want her.
********* normal POV ********
I ended up back outside on the pier. I started to calm down a little once alone. The water is so pretty and so is the sky. I never imagined things looking like this. It makes the world seem a little less lonely.
"Could I sit with you?" I hear from a raspy voice.
Upon turning around, I expected to see Steve, but it was James. I kind of had a concerned face but I nodded anyway.
We sat in silence for a while. Both of us were taking in what the world looked like now.
"I want you to know that I wouldn't ever force anything between us. I'm not going to force you to feel things. I will wait for you. I will protect you, like I promised Tony, and I won't let anything come between that. Even if you don't want me, I can accept that." He says trying to reassure me. "I know I'm not what you pictured when you imagined your soulmate. But I want you to know... you're better than what I imagined." He adds. I could almost smile at his kind words. He starts to get up to leave but I grab his hand.
"You don't have to go." I say, "if you want to, I mean" I don't want to sound desperate, but honestly I want someone to need me. I'm missing my dad and I want help I'm just not very good at asking for it.
He nods and we just sat with my hand on his. Every now and then he turns to sneak a look at me and every time I put my head down, I'm not used to having eyes on me. I can't stop thinking about who he was. The Winter Soldier? I guess this is the best time to ask him about it. Might as well get the conversation over with.
"You don't have to tell me... if you don't want," I say and he instantly turns his head to focus on me, "was it actually not you?" I ask hoping he knows what I mean.
He looks down at the water trying to find words.
"It was me, my body I mean, did those things. I have no recollection of any of it. Sometimes I remember bits of it. I remember knowing what I was doing and wanting to stop but not being able to control my limbs. Every now and then they would fry my brain again so I wouldn't question any orders. After awhile I just realized that was my life and I got over it." He says reluctantly, I can tell he doesn't like talking about it but he almost seems comfortable with me, "when I got better I never expected Steve to forgive me. Well I don't expect anyone to forgive me. But, they did. Once I was fully recovered from the brainwashing I started finding the loved ones of my victims. I apologized offered them anything in return. Most of them accepted my apologies, other didn't. Your dad accepted me, it took him a little bit to understand, but he forgave me. I could never repay him for that."
"He told me he didn't want us to meet because you were still trying to get better, but he told me you were a kind person." I say trying to make him know how much he meant to my dad. James looks at me with glassy eyes. Is he crying?
"I never wanted to do those things to your grandparents. I made Tony an orphan and I can never forgive myself for that, but I'm glad you had him for as long as you did." James says. I feel bad for him.
I put my head on his shoulder which surprises both of us.
"You're right. You're not what I pictured when I imagined my soulmate," I say and I feel him tense up," but, I think you will do just fine." I say with a small laugh. I felt him relax.
"Thank you for giving me a chance y/n. I won't make you regret it." He says and leans his head on mine.
An hour or two go by and we just sit and talk on the pier. Each of us sneaking looks at each other every now and then. It was nice having somebody to talk to about this. Even though he didn't experience the same pain, he still has gone through so much that he understand what pain felt like.
Then, I started hearing people leaving behind us. I heard cars starting and tires rolling over the gravel road. We must have been out here longer than I thought.
"I should probably go say bye to people." I say even though I really didn't want this moment to end. He nods and stands up to help me up, I smile in return. As I walk towards the house my mom walks into the porch.
"How'd it go?" She asked as James made his way inside.
"Good." I say confidently, I wanted to tell her everything, but I also wanted to keep it like a secret between me and James.
**********a few days later ************
I haven't seen James since the funeral. It's just been me and my mom at home, with Nat stopping in to check on us. It's weird being here without dad. I can tell how much it's hurting my mom to not have him here, but at least we have each other.
"Hey honey, Peter called and wanted to come by. Is that okay?" She asks and I nod. Peter and I grew close at the funeral and I loved his company.
When Peter got there he had a big smile on his face.
"What's the grin for, Parker?" I ask trying not to laugh at him.
"I have something I wanna show you!" He says and grabs my hand. We make our way to the roof. I haven't been up here since I was a little girl. It looks much different now in color.
"What are we doing up here Peter?" I ask confused, but still excited.
"So, obviously, I'm Spider-Man," he says and I chuckle, "I was thinking, why don't I show you the city my way!" He finishes and I give him a confused face.
"What do you me..." I try to ask but before I knew it he grabbed a hold of me and started shooting his webs from his wrists. Flinging us across the buildings, wow. Once I realize what's happening a scream escapes my lips. Peter laughs at me and keeps a tight grip around me. I calmed down enough to understand he's not going to drop me, so I soak it in. The beautiful colors of the city, mixed with the sunset on the horizon.
Finally, we come to a stop on top of the same building we took off from. Peter was smiling at me and I couldn't help but laugh.
"That was great spider monkey!" I say playfully pushing him. Then I remembered, I never told him about James.
"Hey! It's SPIDER MAN not monkey!" He playfully corrects me.
"I have to tell you something! I met him." I say with a smile and almost blushing.
"Him? Like your soulmate! You can see color? What's it like! What color is that? What's your favorite? What about that what color is tha..." he continues to ask dumb stuff and I just laugh answering everything.
"Who is he?" He asked finally a decent question.
I tell him everything. I told him about The Winter Soldier, my grandparents, James's promise to my dad, and about me and him.
"Wow. That's so cool!" He says I can tell he's excited for me.
"Yeah and..." I was going to continue but my mother's voice interrupted as she walked through the stairway to the roof.
"Y/n, James called. He said he'd be here at 6 to take you on a proper date." She said with a smile. I turned to Peter and then my mom.
"Oh no! It's already 5!"
******* skip to 6 pm *********
"He's here!" I hear my mom yell from the lounge. I just finished getting ready, well are ready as I could get. I haven't slept well and I'm sure you can tell but at least I brushed my hair. I slowly walked down the steps and see James and my mom on the couch talking.
"Hi James." I say with a soft smile.
He stands up very fast, he's excited.
"Hi." He says smiling back.
"You two have fun. Y/n text me later and let me know when you'll be home!" My mom says. She knows I'm grown up, but she likes treating me like a kid. I didn't mind. I nod and gave her a hug.
We walk to the driveway in silence, but happy.
"I hope your not afraid of bikes." He says with a laugh. I look up and see an incredible motorcycle. All black with fancy wheels. I'm glad I wore jeans.
"I'm not afraid!" I say eagerly. I've never rode a bike. I'm more than excited.
He hands me a helmet that was strapped to the back.
"Here. Put this on make sure it's nice and snug." He says placing it in my hands.
"Where's yours?" I asked not really that concerned.
"I don't need one." He says as if it's a joke.
"You should always wear a helmet James!" I say and he kinda laughs it off then grabs another one from the side of the bike and puts it on his head.
"Happy?" He asks smiling.
"Ecstatic." I say looking into his eyes.
And with that we're off. I don't even know where we are going all I know is that just riding on this bike is the most fun I've ever had.
He's driving fast enough to make it fun but not too fast so I'm not scared. He takes us all over town. My hands don't leave his waste and a smile stays on my face. I was happy again.
At the funeral I felt content sitting with him on the pier. But now I actually feel happy. I think my dad would've been happy for me too.
After a little more of a drive, we ended up on the coast. I haven't been here in years, especially not since I can see color.
"I didn't bring a bathing suit." I say even though I know we can't swim it's still cold out.
"We're not here to swim. I wanted to show you something." He said and grabbed my hand as we made our way to the sand.
We walked slow, my hand in his, and just stared off into the horizon. It was perfect.
"I used to come to the beach a lot before the war. With Steve and my siblings." James says keeping his grip around my hand tight. "I always told my siblings that once I got out of the army I'd come back and the first thing we'd do is go to the beach." He adds and I look up at him to see a sad face.
"I'm sorry." I know far too well that his family is gone now. It's been a long time.
"It's okay. I've realized that I might have lost my family but at least I found you." He says stopping in his tracks. As we look into each other's eyes I can't help but feel whole. He slowly starts to lean in towards me. All I want is for him to want me, but I don't know if I'm ready.
"Wait." I say as I place my free hand on his chest to stop him.
"Oh I'm sorry I just thought you..."
"No I do." I interrupt, "but I've just never.... I've never wanted to kiss anyone before."
"What do you mean?" He asked. My wording obviously makes him wonder.
"I had a boyfriend once. He swore I was his soulmate, but I didn't see color so I didn't believe him. I kept dating him though, because I felt bad for leaving him alone. He'd kiss me and I'd let him but I didn't really want to." I say trying not to sound depressed. I've only ever told my mom about that.
"Did he force you to..." he stops not wanting it to be real.
"No! He tried once but I pretended I had to throw up and left. Then I broke up with him the next day." I say trying not to make him feel bad for me, that's not what I wanted.
"I'm sorry." He says taking a step back.
"I didn't mean I don't want to with you. I just got scared. But I do. I want to." I say stepping closer with a soft smile.
He looks down at me and put his hand on my cheek, softly caressing it.
"I told you I'd never force you to do anything. I'll wait for you until the end of time." He says kissing my forehead. Wow. He made me feel much better.
We walked a little longer and ended up on a huge pier. With a few little shops set up along the side. He kept begging me to let him play the carnival games to win me something, but I knew it was a waste of money.
"Hey I'll be right back." I say with a smile he nods and I make my way to the bathroom. I pull out my phone and text my mom telling her it's going well and I'm having fun. As I finish up and walk out James is standing there with a small stuffed monkey in his hands.
"I told you I can win." He said with a smirk. All I could do was laugh.
"You're stupid." I say and shove his shoulder. Of course I kept the monkey. "I will treasure it always." I tell him and hug the stuffed animal to my chest.
We made our way to the end of the pier and stood there watching the water reflect the beautiful colors of the sunrise. I had the stuffed monkey in one arm and James's hand in the other. I don't think anything could make me this happy right now.
"After I escaped... I never thought I'd be happy again. Even a little happy, but you have made me the happiest I've been in a very long time." James says putting his arm around me and pulling me close to him. I can't help but smile and look down at the ground. How could he be so nice? After everything he's been through, he's still a kind person.
I look up at him to see a small smile on his face and his eyes meet mine.
"I think I'm ready now." I say not losing my smile. His eyes lit up and leaned down to me. As our lips met, it felt different than the kisses I've received before. It felt softer, nicer, and a little needier. He pulled away first and I thought I did something wrong. I gave him a confused face.
"Y/n everything about you is perfect." He says reassuring me and making me blush.
As we made our way back to the bike I felt like he looked at me the whole time.
"Do you think it'd be okay if you came back to the tower with me and we hung out there?" He asked. The tower, avengers tower, my dad never let me go there because of all the crazy avengers. I think he'd be okay with it now, since James it looking after me.
"Sure." I respond as we hop on the bike and cruise to the Avengers tower.
James opens the door to a decently sized bedroom with a huge bed and couch inside.
"It's not much," he says, "but it's home for me. For now at least." He adds leading me inside.
I sit on the edge of the bed taking in the small items of decor he has. A photo of him and Steve from a long time ago, a photo of who I think is his mother and siblings, and a TV hung up on the wall. I can't help but smile.
"We could watch a movie?" I ask breaking the silence.
"Yeah! Let's watch a movie." He says. I don't think he cares what we do I think he just wants me here.
As we sit on the bed and watch a movie his hand doesn't leave mine. I feel safe and warm with him by my side. Once the movie is over I realize how heavy my eyes are.
"It's getting late. I should probably go home now. I can take a bus so you don't have to take me." I say not really wanting to leave but knowing I probably should.
"No! I mean... you don't need to take the bus. You can stay here. I'll take you home in the morning." He says. His offer is intriguing, but am I ready to sleep next to somebody? "I'll sleep on the couch and you can have the bed! I have clothes you can wear to bed if you'd like." He adds almost reading my mind. I think for a second. He makes me feel safe so I think it'll be fine.
"Ok, just let me text my mom." I say and instantly he smiles nodding his head.
James turned around while I changed, but part of me wished he wouldn't. I liked how he respected me, he didn't want anything to make me feel uncomfortable. His shirt was also very comfortable, maybe just because it was is. I got into the bed and covered up and he threw some blankets on the couch. We faced each other and talked because I fell asleep.
No. Please come back. You promised us. Don't be gone. Dad, come back to us, come back to me.
"Y/n! Wake up it's only a dream. Wake up!" I hear and open my eyes to James standing over me with his hands on my shoulders. I knew I hadn't been sleeping well, I guess I didn't realize I was having nightmares.
"I'm fine." Is all I'm able to get out. I was hot and tears were in my eyes.
"You were tossing and turning and then started screaming. You scared me." He says not moving away from you.
"I'm fine." I repeat not looking up at him.
"It was your dad wasn't it?" He asks but he knew already. I nod in response. He placed my hand in his, which made me feel safe.
"He tried as hard as he could to come back to you. He was brave for what he did." James says trying to make you feel better.
"Could you lay with me?" I ask quietly. He nods and slides in behind you.
As I lie there in his arms I feel safe, I feel at home with him.