Little Roe (Peaky Blinders)

Lies

(Roelynn's P.O.V.)
My wrist had a red mark from the head nurse Angela's hand. She had seen me wave goodbye to Mr Shelby and I had seen the annoyence spread onto her face immediatly. After we where out of Mr Shelby's sight she had roughly grabbed my hand before dragging me to my room. She harshly pushed me inside making me fall down to the ground. I turned around and looked up at her from the ground. She scoffed as she saw I started to get teary eyed. "Its very true what Nurse Lara told me. Every single time you get hurt a little you start to cry" Head-Nurse Angela said stepping forward. Her hand reaching out to grab a hold of me. But I scooted away from her. Sadly she was quick and had grabbed my shirt collar. "Now Im gonna give you something to cry about" she said pulling me closer to her face.

My eyes are so swollen from crying that I couldnt even see through them. I must deserve it, to be punished with cigarette burns. I have to do everything right, but I dont know how. I can't do wrong cause I might get locked up all week long. When I'm awake the only person that keeps me company is Mr Monty. But now he also has been punished. His right ear is ripped making it sadly hang by some strands from his head, some stuffing was laying on the ground. Just like some of the left over burned cigarette pieces. The left button that resembled his eye was missing. Somewhere deep down I feel bad for the nurses. Im really just an expensive and useless joke. Not more, or less than... what was it Nurse Angela said?... "you are nothing more or less than coke or speed". Now I tell myself to just be quiet and they wont come again. But I cant help and let out a painfull yelp when I brush my hand over my burned arm. I hear my name being called out angrily by nurse Angela again. Scared I squeeze myself against the wall and hold broken Mr Monty to my chest. I just want somebody, besides Mr Monty, to keep me warm at night. Keep me safe at night. Those nights are the worst for me. My mind will try to retrieve forgotten memories of my life before all of this. But it hurts to think. So then I question if there is more for me? Or if this really is what I'm born to be? I will tell myself I am worth a family... but then the nurses come along and tell me lies. The lies that I will buy like they are going out of stock.

But even with all these lies and bad thoughts. There is one small thought of hope. I have to tell someone about everything behind these joyous walls of the orphanag. About the lies they actually keep secret. I also know who I have to tell all about this, Mr Shelby. But once again. I have no idea how to. But I will try and find a way.

Published: 20th of April 2021.