achromatopsia

07: the corset and the burden

"What- he?", I asked shocked and pointed in disbelief at the grumpy heap of black clothes slumped on the armchair opposite of me.

I didn't know much about him but from Yejin's endless talks about all seven of them I learned that he was someone who was good at everything- a Mr. I-can-do-it-all.

And he is supposed to be colour-blind?

How come no one ever noticed?

He really must be a machine for being able to hide his achromatopsia from millions of fans.

"Wow, that's... shocking", I said so dryly that it made Namjoon laugh.

"But what- oh my god!"

As I carried on my thought of how his colour blindness was connected to mine it hit me like the elbow of the crazy fan in my face.

"You think I'm his soulmate?"

It cost me a lot of effort to even take that word into my mouth because I already felt nauseous at the mere thought of it.

Not him.

Not him of all people in this world.

First impression of him: rude. Second impression: rude and ignorant and mean.

It couldn't be him. It mustn't be him.

If he was my only chance in my whole life to see colours I wouldn't know how to act.

"Yes that's what we're suspecting", Namjoon answered calmly.

"Well, that can't be because I didn't see any colours", I quickly denied, "nothing. Everything as usual. Everything black and white like the image of a TV in the fifties."

"Are you sure?", he dug deeper, his eyes not leaving me once.

"Yes, I am", I said nodding vigorously, "hundred percent positive. Completely sure. Convinced to the core."

I was panicking and it was obvious. I always talk nonstop when I'm nervous. Just letting every word that comes to my mind fall off my lips.

Then no one said another word. It stayed silent which drove me even more insane.

Until Serena moved and squat in front of me placing her hands tentatively on my knees. Strangely enough it comforted me.

"Listen, Yuna", she said softly and I was a little thrown off guard when she said my name.

I hadn't introduced myself properly yet but she probably picked it up when Yejin came into the treatment room screaming my name.

And I couldn't help but notice how Jungkook lifted his head to regard me at the sound of my name.

"I know that this is a scary thing", she told me and I knew she was speaking from her own experience, "but it can also be so beautiful. And I know for a matter of fact that you'll regret it if you don't try."

The way she described it so rapturously made me believe every word she said.

"It's hard and it has been a long day for you", she said locking eyes with me, "but try to let go. Stop fighting it."

As she said those words I could feel a clamping tension loosening around my chest. As if someone finally unlaced a tight corset which was tied around my waist and made it hard for me to breathe.