achromatopsia

29: kisses, drugs and roe brown eyes

"How could you?!", I whispered, my voice brittle and distorted from the pain that had my already bruised heart in its cold and fierce grasp.

My throat was sore after sobbing and screaming at Jungkook for about three minutes straight. I was aware that I was making a scene, just as well as of how embarrassing the way I acted was.

After seeing countless misunderstandings and senseless arguments in TV shows and movies, I always thought I would never overreact as long as I didn't know the full picture or the other side of a story. But it was easy to think that way when you were not in a similar situation, a situation where your very own feelings were hurt.

"What the hell is going on? Could you just slow down for a second and explain why you're so upset?", he suggested in a slightly tetchy tone and rose his hands, yet taking a step towards me, "did I do something wrong?"

When he tried to approach me I instinctively backed away from him, causing a pained expression to flit across his face.

To be fair, I berated him more than his actions entailed but there was a simple explanation for my overreaction. I was emotional, venting all the pent-up anger and sorrow of today and the day before and the day before that one... on him.

But there was hope that this was all a big misunderstanding and not another one of his attempts to manipulate me.

"Did you only play nice just so I would come along with you on this tour? Kiss me and hope I would grovel to your every word ", I sneered, anguish and scorn flashing in my eyes as I pierced him irately, "and then you went off... bragging about it to everyone?"

Feeling the humiliation and shame from the moment manager Sejin had spoken so casually about our most intimate moment still burning in the pit of my stomach, I hurled the word 'bragging' at him while the tears slowly dried up on my cheeks.

"That is not what happened, Yuna. Why would you even think that?", he asked loudly, easily withstanding my glare. I stayed silent in response, his offensive reaction upsetting me even more.

"I didn't go around bragging about anything. I told my hyungs and manager Sejin about us in confidence, just like I share mostly everything else with them because I trust them with anything", he told me, using the moment of my silence to save what could be saved, "and after manager Sejin left, I talked to my hyungs about how much you mean to me and how overwhelmed I am every time you smile at me or every time you get mad at me because you look so freaking adorable when you're angry."

His sudden but very honest confession at least made me look him in the eye again, even if I didn't let any of it get to me. I couldn't allow him to manipulate me in any way ever again, since it seemed like he had a tendency to do that. He would need to earn my trust again after all the times he directly or indirectly mistreated or hurt me. Right now he could just make all of it up to save his skin.

"Ok", I said meekly, miles away from feeling even close to ok.

He exhaled sharply, pushing his hair back with his right hand. He was frustrated with me or the whole situation or whatever, I could tell from the vein that had popped out on his neck. The all black, comfortable clothes he had changed into almost seemed to underline his frustration in contrast to the cream and copper tones of the hotel room's inside design.

In complete silence he stared at me, intent roe brown eyes watching me and waiting for a more passionate reaction or another outbreak while I was chasing my own thoughts.