what hurts the most

Decisions

{Camran Williams}

A/N a picture of camrans daddy.

After about a half hour of arguing me and my daddy was out and on the way home. No decisions was made and nothing was solved. Talaya stormed out with crushed feelings and JK and Javion tried to come to a conclusion but they couldn't agree on nothing and we all finally decided that this was just all to much in one day and we would figure things out another time. I stared out the window on the way back to the house. I was lost in my thoughts. I can't believe the he left his money and his child to me. I can't believe he loved me like he did. If only he would have told me this when we was together we probably would still be together, he probably still be here and I would be the mother if his child. I smile at the thought of us being together again. I loved with everything in me and the only reason I broke up with him is because I felt like he didn't feel the same way I felt about him. Love is crazy when your in love alone but I wasn't he actually loved me. That's was part of the reason why I even decided to to move with my mama. I did want to see him after the brake up. I wish I would have stayed. We pulled up to the house. My dad turned the car off and we sat there for a moment. I was still staring out the window.

Daddy: you okay

Me: I don't know

Daddy: well I just.....

I cut him off

Me: I really don't want to talk about it I just want to got upstairs and lay down its just to much.

Daddy: okay but we will talk later.

We got out the car and I went straight to my room and cried. I wanted him and I want him bad. I was angry at myself cause I felt like part of it was my fault. If I would have been there for him he would still be here. Hours went by and I was beyond emotional. I got up and wash my face. My eyes was red and puff underneath. I heard a knock and the door.

Daddy: I'm going to get something to eat what you want.

Me: what ever your eating.

Daddy: okay but when u get back we are going to talk.

Me: okay

I showered and put in some comfortable clothes. I thru on some grey sweat that stop at my knees and a white t shirt. I braided my hair in two fishtail braids and put and some socks then headed down stairs. I went in side the den and turned on the TV. I started watching Menace To Society. A few minutes into the movie I heard a knock on the door. It was my Javion. I open the door and let him in.

Javion: you straight

Me: yeah

Javion: you look like you been crying

Me: I'm okay

Javion: I get better you just go to stay strong.

Me: I'll try. Was up doh.

Javion: ohh I came by to drop this of to you.

I looked down at his hand and there was a key.

Me: what's this

Javion: Boss had a secret safe box for his stash at Chase bank. Me and JK about to clear it for a while and lay low. We hot right now.

Me: please tell y'all ain't about to do or already did something stupid.

Javion: call it what you want but I'll be damn if I let the niggaz that shot my nigga and kill my lil Cuz walk around this bitch breathing. I got shit that got to be handled and I don't need that shit coming back to bit me. In this game it kill or be killed and I'm trying to live.