what hurts the most

{Carla Jones}

My name is Carla jones aka Cj. I've lived in Atlanta all my life. Decatur was all I knew. My mama and my daddy gave me the best life possible. You see mama was a beautician/ nurse. My daddy a correctional officer. So we made a decent living. I could have anything I wanted and I did ,but instead of giving me everything my daddy made sure I knew the value of hard work. He always told me nothing in the world was free. That everything had a price and if I ever wanted to be successful in life I had to work hard. My mama basically believe the same thing. She had this never depend on man be independent attitude. So between the both of them I made sure I worked hard. In reward my parents gave me whatever I ask for. I know I make it sound easy but it was hard always trying to be the best. Especially since my sister Alexis had been success in everything. Alexis was my big sister. She was valedictorian of her senior class. A former A.k.A stepper in which she was captain of the team. On top of that she was a college graduate. She had AA degree in nursing and a BA degree in general management. She still was in college going for her doctors degree. On top of going to college she lived on her own maintaining two jobs while going to school. So if you get the picture I'm painting here Alexis was very successful and I was living in her shadow. It was a must for me to be good at everything constantly being compared with her. That's why I was glad to have camran. She had been my best friend since I was five years old. And even doh she was back on forth between her parents over the years we always kelp in touch. We did everything together. From dancing to wearing the same clothes and liking the same things. We even lots our virginity at the around the same time. She was my ace and I loved that girl hard. But her life was to easy. Camran never had to work for anything. By her being the only child on her mama side and her daddy's first born she got everything. Sometimes I wish my it was that simple for me. I was glad when she moved to Decatur for good she made life easy for me being that we did everything together I wasn't alone. We could do everything together and we did. We told each other everything. She was the first person I told when I loss my virginity to James at age 15. James was my boy friend. We been together ever since I was was 13 and I loved him. We was the break up to make up type of couple. Now matter what we did we always was there for each other and came back to each other. That's why I was so surprised when I started feeling like James was slipping away from me . Something just wasn't right with him lately and it was getting to me. Bothering me so much to the point that I though he was cheating. I wasn't going to accuse him doh. I need to vent to my bestie. But Camran had been so busy lately with Kylie and I had dance class and on top of that I had made the cheerleading team so I was busy as well. I needed to relieve so stress so I called James. I knew he would come get me right.

James: yo

Me: what you doin

James: nun playing the game

Me: oh can you come get me

James: nah

Me: why you said it like that?

James: like what?

Me: like you got a attitude. You don't wanna be bothered with me?

James: damn you on the dumb shit again. Bae my mama ain't home she worked overtime today. That's why I said no. Man you been bitching a lot lately. Was up with you?

Me: nothing just stressed especially with you not having time for me.

James: you know I been busy with football and track. umma make time for you I promise. A nigga ain't got no attitude. Just busy. Damn you be busy why I can't be busy.

Me: stop cursing at me. And it don't fucking matter I always make time for you don't i.

James: ayy lower you tone. Girl you got me fucked up talking to me like that.

Me: well you cursed at me.

James: cause I hate when you act like this.

Me: well you need to make time. What you don't love me no more.

James: lol you on some other stuff. Yea I love you girl

Me: well act like it

James: lol I know what you want and I got what you need.

Me: lol you make me so sick.

James: you ain't gotta wait to long umma come give you yo medicine. That why you acting cause you ain't had you medicine. Daddy got you bae.

Me: lol I can't stand you.

James: I know you can't stand me cause you love me.

Me: I don't got time for yo long mouth rump.

James: lol I got some long for you. Black and long.

Me: it must be ya long neck

James: I got that for you too.

Me: lol I can't take you.

James: I kno you can't when um up in that.

Me: lol James stop playing. Dang!

James: look at you over there getting wet

Me: lol stop you so nasty.

James: whatever you love my nasty ass.

Me: I do

James: I love you too. You know dat.

Me: umm huh

James: um huh what?

Me: I know you better not be making time for nobody else.

James: my heart my time my soul my mind is all for you.

Me: awwww so sweet.

James: you know I love you. You the only girl for me.

Me: well i need some time when you coming .

James: next Saturday bae I promise.

Me: okay

I sat on the phone a And talk to James for 30 more minutes. My mama came in the room and ask me to wash dish. I hung up the phone and went got wash the dishes. After I did that I took a shower and did my homework. I was tired after that so I went to bed early. I had promise my granny I would go to church tomorrow which was Sunday. As I laid there I I though about my camran I wonder what she was doing. I really miss her. Ever since she started hanging with Kylie it's like she. Forgot about me. The last time I talked to her was when I called her back to let her know my mama said I couldn't stay with her while her mom went out of town. I was going to make I my duty to catch up with her Monday in school.