✨Haikyuu chatfic ✨

(34)

-Kenma POV-

Akaashi slowly placed the letter onto the desk, pondering a moment. A moment too long if you ask me. I was dying to know what he thought. I wasn't an expert at love letters, or writing period. I barely made it though English class. I don't see why we are forced to learn it. Not like the Americans are forced to learn Japanese.

I decided to write Kuroo a letter for my confession because I was too scared to do it in person. Akaashi tried to confess to bokuto but after they lost their match, Bokuto was being sulky and Akaashi didn't want to bring it up than. I've been telling him to try again, but each time I do his cheeks turn red and he hides his face.

"Do you think it's smart to not sign it?" Akaashi finally asked.

I shrugged. "He'll know!" I smiled, taking the paper from the desk. "What did you think though?"

"I think it's adorable. Kuroo would be an idiot not to immediately fall in love with anyone who writes a letter like this."

"Okay! Well, let's go put it in his locker!" I said excitedly.

Akaashi and I walked to the gym room and put it in Kuroo's locker. Since we weren't back at our own school yet, I had to use his designated gym locker. I was terrified about how he'll react when he opens it.

Once I slipped it in, there was no going back. We stared at the locker for a moment before the door opened, Kuroo and Bokuto walking in. Akaashi and I both hid around the corner against the lockers.

"Look bo, if you like her than just ask her out. No need to get all sulky about it."

I could feel the panic in Akaashi's heart.

Her.

Bokuto took a moment to reply. "Yeah but," he stopped and sighed. "I don't know. I really like her. It's like if I'm not texting or talking to her at all times of the day, my heart feels like it'll explode. And when she smiles at me. Oh my god Kuroo. You've seen her smile right?"

Kuroo snorted. "No. She doesn't smile around me."

I reached down for Akaashi's hand. He had a blank face. He squeezed my hand as I laid my head on his shoulder.

There was some rummaging, and a turning of a dial. Kuroo was trying to get in his locker.... shit. Fuck. No why now?

"Well, I make her laugh a lot."

Kuroo laughed. "She's probably laughing at you." Bokuto went silent probably thinking about that in his head. Kuroo finally got his locker open, I peeked and saw the letter fall out. He looked down at it, back at Bokuto than at the letter again. Bokuto wasn't even paying attention.

Kuroo's lips moved as he read the letter, his face rather unreadable. My heart was moving so fast I felt I was going to burst. Akaashi squeezed my hand. When I looked at him, I saw he had a single tear running down his cheek as he also peeked around the corner to watch our two best friends.

"Naw she's not like that." Bokuto finally said before moving over to Kuroo after seeing the letter. "Oooo what's this? A love letter?"

"Shut up!" Kuroo's cheeks turned a slight red and I wanted to smile. But I didn't, because immediately after, he crumpled it up in his hand. "It's probably just some stupid girl. I mean who write these anymore?"

Bokuto laughed. "Yeah fair."

My heart sunk. I leaned my head back against the locker, keeping my gaze off of them. Akaashi did the same. We listened in silence to their banter about Bokuto's dream girl and Kuroo's silly letter girl until they both finally left.

Akaashi let out a sob and slid his back down the locker until he was sitting on the floor, his face buried in his hands. "Oh, Akaashi don't cry." I tried to reassure him, but the tears that stung my eyes were already blurring my vision. I bent down besides him, pushing his hair behind his ears.

I was never too emotional myself. I rarely cried as a child even if I really really wanted something and my parents refused to give it to me. But seeing Akaashi vulnerable like this, it made me feel trusted and for that, I trusted him too.

I leaned my head on his shoulder and squeezed my eyes shut, a tear running down my cheek as I cried softly. Never did I think we'd both get basically rejected at the same time.

We were in there for awhile before we finally decided to get up. I walked Akaashi to his room, inside Bokuto was already waiting for him. He greeted him with a smile and a hug. I envy Akaashi for being able to hug him right now. To put himself through that pain just so Bokuto gets his hug is something I would never be able to do.

After their hug, Akaashi pushed out of his grip and got under the covers, hiding his face in his pillow. Bokuto looked at me. I put my hands up and shrugged. I can't blame him, he can't control who he likes, but i can still be mad at him. I mean, he leads on Akaashi all the time. The teasing and hugging and kisses on the cheek before and after each game. Kuroo and I always make fun of him for it.

I went to my room, dreading seeing Kuroo. I wasn't like Akaashi. I couldn't pretend to be okay. I can't just walk into the room and hug Kuroo. Not that we hug often anyways, but still. He laughed at my letter. I thought he'd like it, I thought he would've known it was me.

After being friends for years on end, I figured he would've learned my sloppy handwriting. Hell, he always complains about it when we he helps me with school projects or homework.

When I walked into my room, Kuroo was pacing. I softly shut the door, even looking at him just now made my heart hurt.

"Kenma!" He screamed, walking over to me and pinning my arms to the door. I didn't know what to do, in all honesty I was scared.

"Hi."

"Hi, hey um..." he cleared his throat. "It's you right?"

"What?"

He backed away a bit and went over the shared desk we had in this room. He opened the top drawer and dug out a folded up piece of paper. He took a deep breath and looked at me than back down at the paper. "I can't tell you the exact moment I fell in love, but one day at a game, I remember looking at you differently."

My heart stopped. He's reading my letter...

"You were celebrating your win with Bokuto, and in that moment, even though hundreds of other people were in that gym, you looked at me and me only. I can't help but think it meant something." He stopped reading and placed the letter back on the desk, moving towards me again. My eyes were teary.

"Please Kenma, who else would I have looked at?"

He pines me against the door again, this time less forceful. He leaned in close to me his lips inches from my own. "Tell me it was you."

I felt bad for Akaashi. I hated that he isn't going to get his happy ending. I hated that bokuto loved a girl. I hated that Kuroo.... no.. I loved him. I love Kuroo and I hated myself for that. And I love Akaashi but I can't give up Kuroo. I can't give up my happy ending. I'm so sorry Akaashi.

"It was me."

Hi long time no see ahaha