Tension - Harry Styles

Chapter 4

"What am I supposed to say
when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces."

***

I feel nothing but bleakness around me. The cold wall behind me seems to be the only thing that's helping me a little right now.

What am I supposed to do now? Should I go home? Should I go back into this devil's cave?

I don't know. All I know is that I need to do something. I look up, seeing the street lights brighten up this night. I don't even know what time it is.

I take my phone and my eyes widen when I see the time.

10:30 pm. How long have I been outside?!

I try to get up off the ground, my legs are still shaking from running away as far as I could earlier. I push my hands against the wall to make sure I don't fall to the ground again.

I'm a real failure when it comes to going to a party and drinking alcohol. I only drank two shots and feel like I could throw up already.

Thank God, I was able to stand up without falling to the ground. I try to take a few steps, one hand sliding along the wall. I'm getting dizzier with each step I take, though I keep going.

Normally it's a 15 min walk home from this place. I don't think I'm going to reach it within 30 min. I feel like an old lady. All that's missing is a rollator or walking stick.

I continue walking. Since every step takes me a lot of time this path seems so infinitely long. Maybe I should just sleep on the streets like homeless people do.

Or should I just go back to the club?

No! Mary left me alone for this bartender. I can't see her right now. I feel kind of betrayed to be honest.

I really need to go home now. Accidently I ran the wrong direction out of the club, which means I unfortunately have to walk past the club again.

I already hear the music getting louder and then I can see the smoke and lights coming out of the front door of the club.

I stop for a second, mainly because I want my legs to recover a little but also because I'm thinking about going back into there.

I shake my head. I guess it was an attempt to drive the thought away. I let out a deep breath before I start walking again, my eyes still on the club.

My breath is stuck in my throat when I notice the long haired guy from the club. He just stands there in his group of other guys. I can't tell if he stares at me, for that he's too far away.

My eyes snap to the ground as my legs increase there speed. I hope I don't fall and I hope even more that he didn't see me.

God, how can one single person make me so uncomfortable and scared at the same time with not even doing something?

I feel like I'm doing good with my way home. I'm almost there, but I have a bad feeling walking through these dark alleys.

I think it's a 5 min walk until I reach my home from now. I hope I won't wake up somebody at home since it's already 11:25 pm.