choking insanity

you needed love, i needed you

your words was like a dagger,
  gashing into my mouth,
letting the red wine leak out
into a puddle of blood on the floor.
   your touch was like
a blistering sip of the sun,
it burnt my soul,
  how could i ever forgive you?
you needed love, i needed you,
though when the time of dawn
cried out, you left leaving nothing but
a ghost of the past,
you left,
leaving me in a melted
pool of shameful blood.

the cherry telephone
suffocated in my grasp
when you called, nothing
but muffled sounds and my cries
were heard, and (i swear) you could hear
my heart tear apart,
you crackled at my suffering (you always did).
years and years
  of my torture
years and years
  of your unsettling touches.
i didn't think i would miss your
pounds of distress,
  but i'd rather your hits then be lonely at all.

though the terror of my anguish aspiration of
you needed love, i needed you,
i spilled my exposed devotion,
and suddenly my blood was gashed into
my casket of regret.
    vulnerability comes with repercussion,
and i didn't see it until you.
my remorse reeks and my mortification is
disguised as beauty.
    scars scatter my insides,
traced and molded onto my skeleton,
you deserve this!
written on my bones with red ink
and i forgive you!
is carved into my heart,
   and i chose to forgive you because (in the past)
you needed love, i needed you.

if my cherry stained telephone rang,
i would answer, only because it's you
though deep
deep
       deep
down my shattered heart would be devastated
at my actions, and the words on my skeleton
would replicate in circles up to my blood coated throat,
hoping to confess my much defeated remorse and mortification,
   though knowing my vulnerability comes with consequences,
i hope my words feel like daggers,
gashing into your mouth.

-
the lines you needed love i needed you is from a song by Angelo De Augustine so go listen to it bc it's very good😁