choking insanity

ghost of you

the ivory sheets of my tears weep below my cold, bitter soul of yearning for you, missing you, longing for you and—why did you have you leave? never would i have guessed such a heavenly flower would rot till the stem reeks with toxin and sorrow,
never would i have guessed the azure ocean tide would dry, leaving nothing but a bottomless pit of decayed sand to brittle out the outgoing life,
and never would i have guessed the gods above would tug on your throat till it bleeds green and—i'll be fine.

the words: i'll be just fine
ring through my camouflaged cries for help as you ache throughout my dreams (nightmares) of when you were still here,
and your alleviating voice is calming (horrifying) in them, and if i can dream long enough, you'd tell me i'd be just fine

and my feet hurt from watching the endless pile of pictures of us dancing in my mind,
though, we're too young, too dumb, too know things like love but i know better now (atleast i try)

and sometimes my eyes see you, your delightful smile, your ivory streaks of hair, your alleviating voice, and—you're not actually here.
because the truth drowns in my throat and—i blink and i see your weedy bones on the stiff ground,
i blink and see your smile has become rotten,
i blink and see your ivory hair is faded into sticks,
i blink and hear your horrifying voice and—i (don't) think i'll be just fine.

but i choke the truth out
like i always do
and i miss you, i miss you and i dance, spinning around till my cheeks turn blue, to believe i'm still with you, and i'm dancing through our house with the ghost of you
but i blink and see nothing but the shadow of your soul and i chase it down with a shot of truth, because my feet don't dance, like they did with you.

—
this is inspired by the song ghost of you by 5sos,
the lyrics that i used are in underline

also this is for alwyzeasierr since i deleted the last one LMAO