A Friend (Stanford Pines x Reader)

Negotiations

Air flowed into your lungs. It took a few seconds for you to realize that you weren't dead. You blinked a few times, trying to regain your bearings. Experimentally, you gave each of your limbs a small shake, and to your great relief, you found that each one was fully functional.

It was just a vivid nightmare. you thought. That's it! Yes, that has to be it! Just-

Nope. 

You were screwed.

Bill hovered a few feet away, curiously looking you up and down. He placed his small hands on the lower half of his triangle-shaped body, then began to orbit around you. You spun in motion as he did so, unwilling to take your eyes off of him even for a second.

"Hiya, Y/N!" He exclaimed when he finished. "Our meeting has been long overdue! It's nice to see you in-person rather than through good ole Fordsy's eyes! Boy, let me tell ya, you occupy a good portion of that guy's mindscape!"

You squirmed under his unwavering stare. "Where is he?"

Bill lifted his brow. "Well, he's not dead, if that's what you're insinuating," he stated simply. "You'll see him again soon, but I need a little something from you first!"

"No."

Bill's eye widened. "No?"

"I said no," you reiterated. "I will never make a deal with you. Ever. You've inflicted so much pain and misery on those I hold dear. There is nothing you can offer me that will make me even consider helping you."

You expected rage. White, hot anger, and maybe some pain, but none came. Bill almost seemed entertained by your resolve. It was infuriating. Instead, Bill clasped his hands behind his back. "Looks like my reputation precedes me! Excellent! However, that's not what I've brought you here for." Bill snapped his fingers. Behind you, a sofa spawned into existence, floating mid-air for a second, then came crashing down to the ground with a thud. When the couch opened a pair of eyes and grinned, you recoiled. 

"Have a seat!" Bill offered, coyly motioning to the seat. You took a small step back, then looked back to him. "I'll stand, thanks," you forced out as evenly as you could. 

Bill shrugged. "Whatever suits your fancy. Now, as I'm sure you're aware, I've recently redesigned your world!" He looked out the window fondly. "Looks much nicer this way, don't you think? I mean, the same blue sky and animals for the past couple billion years? It's about time you guys had a change of scenery!"

"Cut to the point, Cipher," you snapped. Ford tutted and rolled his single, cat-like pupil. His emotions were difficult to read, given they were only reduced to one eye, but you could tell you struck a nerve. "If the circumstances were less dire, I might actually be amused. You've got a fire to ya. You're fierce. I like that. But there's a problem. My weirdness can't escape this town. Something is keeping me in, and I believe you might be one of the only people who can help me break that barrier."

You made a noise of disbelief before you could suppress it. "And why would I help you?" 

Bill shrugged again. "It'd make things a lot easier for us both, trust me."

Shaking your head, you reached up to your temple and rubbed them. Logically, you knew that you should've been terrified. You were in the heart of enemy territory with your mortal rival right across from you. And yet, his words and tone were so simple. He almost seemed disinterested. Like he expected you to agree and help him. The notion was absurd, and the fear momentarily abated. 

You spent six years studying Gravity Falls. The town was special -- you knew that. The unnatural was lured there like moth to a flame. Gnomes, fairies, elves, men with six fingers, boys with peculiar birthmarks, women who never felt like she belonged anywhere. And you didn't. Grades too high, interests too eccentric, you were never able to find your place. You had the occasional friendship throughout your life, but nothing solid, and they faded quickly. But then you met Ford, and for the first time, you belonged with someone. And once you found that, you found a place where you both belonged. To be aware of the weirdness of Gravity Falls felt like a gift. A place where the weird was not only accepted, but where it thrived. You knew the limits, and now Bill wanted to test them. It was a personal violation. 

"You must be desperate if you're looking to me for a solution, Bill. I'm not going to help you." You said firmly.

Bill stared at you in silence, then sighed. "Fine, fine, have it your way. Guess I'll have to pry it out of Fordsy!"

When he finished speaking,  a familiar voice grabbed your attention. "Let me go, you insane, three-sided- Y/N!"

When you turned your head, you were met with Ford's tight embrace. Then, just as suddenly as it came, he let you go. He took your hands in his and looked you up and down. "Are you hurt? Are you okay? I swear, I thought I would never see you again! Did he hurt you? Sweet Moses, if he hurt you, I'll-"

"Ford." You grabbed his shoulders and gave them a small shake. "I'm right here. I'm okay, I promise." 

Ford opened his mouth to respond. Before he could make the words, Bill intervened. "Hey, don't start sucking one another's faces off in front of me! Humans kissing is one of the grossest things in the multiverse. You guys were only apart for like an hour!"

Ford grabbed you by the waist and gently pushed you behind him protectively. You didn't protest. "If we're still alive, you must want something from us." 

"Sharp as ever, Fordsy, but not quite. I already tried Y/N, and she won't budge. But she's not useless to me! So that's why instead of killing her, I'm going to do this!" And with a snap of his fingers, your world was plunged into darkness once again.