𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋆ lee taeyeob [discontinued]

reminder

10:40 am

Nine finally appears at the door with a tray in his delicate hands . "Sir , breakfast . Sorry for the delay ," he says . I lay in my bed , I don't feel good . I feel drowsy and I feel the whole room is spinning . "Ngnh ," I groan and cover my eyes with my arm . "Are you feeling alright , sir?" he puts the tray on my bedside and feels my head . "You're heating up ," he then feels my neck and my cheek . "I'll immediately get your medicine-" I grab him as he tries to leave the room .

"Don't leave .." I mumble . I feel him sit on the other side of the bed . "You need your medicine , sir." I don't care about medicine , I really just wanna lay down and hug something . I pull Nine to lay beside me and he breathes hard on my face . I embrace him as he accepts it with grace , burrowing his cold face in my warm neck . "I can't do this ..." he says into my ear , making me shiver . 

"You can , because I need you , okay?" I kiss his precious ear and he smiles in my neck . "Okay ," he kisses back my ear and we fall asleep .

11:16 am

I open my eyes gently , seeing the gorgeous figure of Nine cleaning my room . I see another maid beside him , helping him dust the nooks and corners of the room . "Nine.." I gurgle . "You're awake , sir . Please go back to sleep , you need all the rest you can get." he goes towards me and pat my head in a friendly manner , so the maid doesn't get suspicious , I'm assuming . 

I close my eyes and maybe , I fell asleep again .

--:--

The whole room is white , the space is infinite . Nine is in a smarter suit than usual , a velvet suit that looks so good I'd kiss him . But he was miles away , but he seemed so near . As I get closer , it seems like he was getting further . The black car appears infront of me and Sungho rolls down the window . " Have you looked behind you ?" I stare at him confused and turn around . The long haired man looks at me , Junji . " We got this strange kind of chemistry ," he walks towards me and like in slow motion , he stabs my chest with his bare hand and pulls out a beating heart . I don't feel pain but I feel my tears streaming down my cheeks and blood oozing out of my wound . Then the laughs , I hear the laughs . The overwhelming laughter surrounds me but I can't look around . I drop to my knees and cover my ears . 

"SHUT UP , SHUT UP , SHUT UP." I scream as loud as I can but when I hear my voice , it's soft like a whisper . I feel like my head's gonna explode but that doesn't happen .

9:49 pm

I wake up , sweat on my forehead . I feel the tears coming out of my eyes and Nine is infront of the bed , sitting against the bed frame . The room is dark but the moonlight pours through the open slit of the curtains .The soft sobs fill the air , I stay quiet and still . He keeps on sobbing and I don't do anything . He sniffs , tries to hold in his sobs but then just keep sobbing . I wipe my tears away and sit up in bed , making a slight creak on the bed .

"Wookjin ," I croak out . He freezes , muffling back his sobs . My head is still warm but I get on my feet and sit across Nine in the dark . I cross my legs and try to focus on Nine's face . I can't see properly because he's covering his face and his hair is covering his hands . "Wookjin , what is happening?" I say softly . He bursts into the sobs again and cups my jaw with both of his wet hands . A slight memory flashes into my head , somewhere identical , a crying face but I shake it off . I need to focus on Nine now .

I'm now face-to-face with a crying face , which makes me slightly terrified . Since I lost my memory , I've never seen a crying face this close . His eyes are puffy and soft . His pupils bounce back between both of my eyes . Left , right , left , right , left , right . Huff , huff , huff , he goes on my face . His lips quiver and I feel from his hands that cup my jaw , he's shaking so much . 

"I'm horrible , I'm terrible , I can't be with you , I'm less of you , I don't deserve to be embraced by you , I don't deserve you , I don't know what to do , I'm scared of this , I wish I was as brave as you , I wish-" he gets stuck on his words and gulps . I press my forehead against his , shushing him . " What are you afraid of , Wookjin?" he lets out a few sobs again . "I can't be liking men , it's frowned upon . What more , you're my boss . I can't be in love with men ," he shivers when I hug him . 

"Being gay is not bad ," I say .

He breathes , inhaling my scent . He needs slowly and he's pushing me into a kiss . He kisses me softly then he puts more effort in it . Like he's kissing me for dear life . We pull away for a breath and he smiles sadly . "I love you , Taeyeob." "I love you too , Wookjin"

10:13 pm

We're watching Netflix on my IPad and he stares sadly at me instead of watching . I turn to him "Being gay is not bad ," I remind him and he laughs softly . But his laugh is filled with sorrow but I know he's trying to understand that what society thinks is bad , isn't .