Idiots Come in Twos | tk.

Cuffed: The Saga

"Ok but like, consequences aside, what happens if we do it."

"The consequences you left aside, dumb bitch."

Jeongguk thoroughly dodged the uno card Taehyung chucked at his face. It fluttered helplessly to the ground, pathetic despite its intentions.

"I'm just saying, man. It would be interesting," Taehyung scoffed, commencing the angry shuffling of his hand of uno cards because Jeongguk was obviously going to win, "like what even goes on in a full time bdsm life?"

Jeongguk watched Taehyung place a green three and scowled. He'd been wanting to use up his blues.

"I don't know," he thumbed through his neat arrangement of greens and decided on a five, "some freaky shit, probably. Ever seen people wearing those, like, iron collars? Y'know, sub gets the lock dom gets the key kinda shit. Cuffed for life."

Taehyung threw him a look over his fanned assortment of cards, "Your gay ass would have the lock, just saying."

"Shut the hell up I heard some chick railing you like—fuckin' yesterday," In spite as well as to convey the extent of his trauma, Jeongguk threw down a draw four, "you would have the lock. Draw four, soggy bitch."

Taehyung begrudgingly added another four cards to his deck (he was convinced Jeongguk had somehow rigged the shuffling process, apparently) and groaned; the this is the one color I didn't need groan, "if I'm soggy I don't even know what to call you. Your cunt is a cumrag at this point, dude."

"And what about it."

"It's crusty. And for that, I'm skipping your turn."

Jeongguk huffed, he'd had all the right cards ready, "I hate you."

"Just wait 'till you get that iron collar, babe," Taehyung took the opportunity to put his collection of shitty reverse cards to use and topped it off with a yellow eight, "you'll be doing some real ass kissing after that."

"Yeah right, if I have to choke and literally die via bdsm collar, I'm the one getting my ass ate," Taehyung quirked a brow from beneath his fringe, the ratty brunette hair a little too long. Jeongguk had been bothering him to get it cut for weeks.

Taehyung snickered, "You want me to eat your ass, Jeon?"

"You saying you would eat my ass, Kim?" Jeongguk shot back. He slapped a (rather sad) yellow one down on the pile and sat back on his haunches in victory, flaunting his three remaining cards. Taehyung had what must've been half the deck.

"Cheater," he seethed, throwing down a red one, "you know you gave yourself all the draw fours. I don't take criticism."

"You're just a sore loser."

"You're a cocky bitch, you know that?"

Jeongguk laid down a skip and a red three, cheeky smile bright on his face, "uno."

The groan that erupted from Taehyung's chest was awful pornographic and very much his taste in dramatic, soon followed by a slew of expletives and a defeated green three. Jeongguk wiggled his eyebrows and waved his last remaining card about. Suspense, he had once claimed, but Taehyung preferred to call it assholery—a word entirely made up just for Jeongguk's shitty, egotistical tendencies.

Taehyung shot him a glare, "do it, little shit, you won't."

"Oh but I will."

Jeongguk absolutely expected the barrage of playing cards Taehyung threw at him when he revealed his last card: a green nine. He insisted it was only the fourth time in a row that he'd won and Taehyung had plenty of time to catch up, but apparently it wasn't taken with a grain of salt.