Idiots Come in Twos | tk.

The Thing (Kind of)

here's a long chapter for u guys !! sorry for the wait !
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They did not do the thing.

Not yet, but they didn't do it right then nonetheless.

In Jeongguk's defense, his lack-of-knowledge induced panic was somewhat reasonable. There were still various, debatably important things they'd neglected to go over before initiating, you know, the thing, and Jeongguk didn't really like going head-first into precarious situations without knowing what to expect.

So instead of getting railed as he'd planned and anticipated for, Jeongguk was laying on the sofa with a horny, extremely petulant Taehyung laying on his stomach. He was hoping if he played with his hair long enough, the initial disappointment would fade. Taehyung liked when Jeongguk braided his hair.

"Why can't we fuck," Taehyung whined in his typically over dramatic fashion, words muffled and lips tickling Jeongguk's abdomen, "I don't get it."

Jeongguk huffed, "we didn't really talk as much as we should've, y'know, considering the circumstances," he sighed when Taehyung didn't say anything, the telltale signs that he still didn't understand, "boundaries 'n such are gonna be more important than they usually would. Especially since this is gonna be an all the time thing, not just in bed."

"It is?"

"24/7, dipshit," Jeongguk tugged on the braid he was working on, "which means all the time. That's what the whole collar thing is for."

Taehyung contemplated that for a minute, "you mean, like, possession? You're supposed to wear it so people know?"

"Yeah," Jeongguk snorted, "that's kind of the whole point," he watched Taehyung's eyes roam the living room floor in thought and couldn't help but snort again, "did you really know next to nothing about this?"

"I know some things."

"Like what?"

"Well," Taehyung began, "we're supposed to have sex and none of that's happening. So I'm kind of sad. I'm sulking."

Jeongguk yanked on his half-completed braid, "You're a horny bitch, actually. Thinking with the wrong head."

"Why can't we just"—Taehyung made some unintelligible sound and wriggled—"fuck and then talk about... things? What even is there to talk about?"

Jeongguk considered that for a moment. He could ask about their status, delve more into their individual kinks (admittedly, he got just a little sidetracked while they were supposed to be doing that earlier), or maybe bring up who would be deserving of an explanation for the collar Jeongguk was going to be wearing from then on.

He thought back to the little bell; it really wouldn't have a knack for remaining inconspicuous, so said explanation would likely be necessary. Just the thought in and of itself — the horror of sitting someone down and diving into the details of what would become his new and improved sex life — was a bit unnerving.

And it was all so strange.

Who would've thought that roughly twenty four hours ago, two broke, sex-starved, college-dwelling dipshits that would do just about anything to get by with the bare minimum would be contemplating something so ... involved. Something that needed commitment; a concept neither were intimately familiar with nor interested in.

Until that goddamn game of Uno, apparently.

"I guess..." Jeongguk trailed off, thoughts wandering and eyes glassy while rhythmically weaving Taehyung's hair into little braids; doing them and undoing them, doing it again, "I dunno. Felt like there was something else to talk about."