Humorous Nonsense VI

₊❏❜ how to be aesthetic i

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜:

the only guide you will ever need to be aesthetic!

[endresultscannotbeguaranteed.WHEREiSSASHAisnotresponsibleforanylossofbraincellsduringtheimplementationofthisguide]

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

now that that's out of the way,

welcome peasants, to this amazing guide that will turn you, a boring bland idiot, into a blinding blingy genius!

the first thing we have to address... ew what is that?

small caps and CAPITALS in the same sentence? 

ABSOLUTELY NOT. NO, NOT ON MY WATCH, YOU BUGGER. DISGUSTANG. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. act civilized!

it doesn't matter if you're about to die, or if someone is holding you at gunpoint, you can not use capitals and small caps in the same sentence.

[ the exceptions being:

i. titles
ii. if one word is in caps to be HIGHLIGHTED. or given importance to.
iii. english homework. unless you want the english teacher to murder you overnight, then be my guest.

now please stop this barbaric act ]

onto the next topic, 

basic fonts. those horrid things.

i absolutely forbid it. why would you use a basic easy to read font when you can use thousands of them to give whoever's reading a headac- um, a habitual understanding? yeah that.

don't make me use my friend's army of... lemons? and potatoes... uhh. i'll get back to you on that threat.

here:

ⓣⓗⓘⓢ ⓘⓢ ⓞⓑⓥⓘⓞⓤⓢⓛⓨ ⓐ ⓕⓞⓝⓣ ⓨⓞⓤ ⓘⓓⓘⓞⓣ
🆃🅷🅸🆂 🅸🆂 🅾🅱🆅🅸🅾🆄🆂🅻🆈 🅰 🅵🅾🅽🆃 🆈🅾🆄 🅸🅳🅸🅾🆃
🅣🅗🅘🅢 🅘🅢 🅞🅑🅥🅘🅞🅤🅢🅛🅨 🅐 🅕🅞🅝🅣 🅨🅞🅤 🅘🅓🅘🅞🅣
ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ ｏｂｖｉｏｕｓｌｙ ａ ｆｏｎｔ ｙｏｕ ｉｄｉｏｔ
⒯⒣⒤⒮ ⒤⒮ ⒪⒝⒱⒤⒪⒰⒮⒧⒴ ⒜ ⒡⒪⒩⒯ ⒴⒪⒰ ⒤⒟⒤⒪⒯
𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚋𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚊 𝚏𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚘𝚝𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝖻𝗏𝗂𝗈𝗎𝗌𝗅𝗒 𝖺 𝖿𝗈𝗇𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗂𝖽𝗂𝗈𝗍
𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐛𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐟𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐨𝐭
𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖎𝖘 𝖔𝖇𝖛𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘𝖑𝖞 𝖆 𝖋𝖔𝖓𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖎𝖉𝖎𝖔𝖙
𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒃𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒍𝒚 𝒂 𝒇𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒊𝒅𝒊𝒐𝒕
𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓸𝓫𝓿𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓵𝔂 𝓪 𝓯𝓸𝓷𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓲𝓭𝓲𝓸𝓽
𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕠𝕓𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕝𝕪 𝕒 𝕗𝕠𝕟𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕥
𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗯𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗹𝘆 𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗼𝘁
𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙗𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙡𝙮 𝙖 𝙛𝙤𝙣𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙙𝙞𝙤𝙩
𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘣𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘰𝘵
🇹🇭🇮🇸 🇮🇸 🇴🇧🇻🇮🇴🇺🇸🇱🇾 🇦 🇫🇴🇳🇹 🇾🇴🇺 🇮🇩🇮🇴🇹
🅃🄷🄸🅂 🄸🅂 🄾🄱🅅🄸🄾🅄🅂🄻🅈 🄰 🄵🄾🄽🅃 🅈🄾🅄 🄸🄳🄸🄾🅃
thíś íś őbvíőúśĺӳ á főńt ӳőú ídíőt
ｲんﾉ丂 ﾉ丂 o乃√ﾉou丂ﾚﾘ ﾑ ｷo刀ｲ ﾘou ﾉdﾉoｲ
Շɦٱร ٱร ѻ๒۷ٱѻપรɭץ ค िѻกՇ ץѻપ ٱɗٱѻՇ
тнιѕ ιѕ σвνισυѕℓу α ƒσηт уσυ ι∂ισт
Շђเร เร ๏๒שเ๏ยรɭץ ค Ŧ๏ภՇ ץ๏ย เ๔เ๏Շ
тЂіѕ іѕ оъvіоцѕlЎ а fоит Ўоц іↁіот
ፕዘጎነ ጎነ ዐጌሀጎዐሁነረሃ ል ቻዐክፕ ሃዐሁ ጎዕጎዐፕ
𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔦𝔰 𝔬𝔟𝔳𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔩𝔶 𝔞 𝔣𝔬𝔫𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔦𝔡𝔦𝔬𝔱
ẗḧïṡ ïṡ öḅṿïöüṡḷÿ ä ḟöṅẗ ÿöü ïḋïöẗ
ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴏʙᴠɪᴏᴜꜱʟy ᴀ ꜰᴏɴᴛ yᴏᴜ ɪᴅɪᴏᴛ
ŧħɨs ɨs øƀvɨøᵾsłɏ Ⱥ fønŧ ɏøᵾ ɨđɨøŧ
ₜₕᵢₛ ᵢₛ ₒbᵥᵢₒᵤₛₗy ₐ fₒₙₜ yₒᵤ ᵢdᵢₒₜ
ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ᵒᵇᵛⁱᵒᵘˢˡʸ ᵃ ᶠᵒⁿᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ⁱᵈⁱᵒᵗ
ʇɥıs ıs oqʌıonsןʎ ɐ ɟouʇ ʎon ıpıoʇ
ʇoıpı noʎ ʇuoɟ ɐ ʎןsnoıʌqo sı sıɥʇ
THiꙅ iꙅ odvioUꙅlY A ꟻoᴎT YoU ibioT
Toibi UoY Tᴎoꟻ A YlꙅUoivdo ꙅi ꙅiHT

did i just copy paste a shit ton of fonts? well yEs. but that's not the point-

look at these fonts. tell me which ones are aesthetic.

"well i don't rea-"
no. that's not right.
"but i didn't even say-"
another wrong answer. are you even reading anything i've typed?
"but you didn't say anything about fo-"
shut up i'll do it myself.

*sigh*

ⓣⓗⓘⓢ ⓘⓢ ⓞⓑⓥⓘⓞⓤⓢⓛⓨ ⓐⓔⓢⓣⓗⓔⓣⓘⓒ, ⓨⓞⓤ ⓕⓞⓞⓛ
ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ ｏｂｖｉｏｕｓｌｙ ａｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ， ｙｏｕ ｆｏｏｌ
⒯⒣⒤⒮ ⒤⒮ ⒪⒝⒱⒤⒪⒰⒮⒧⒴ ⒜⒠⒮⒯⒣⒠⒯⒤⒞, ⒴⒪⒰ ⒡⒪⒪⒧
𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐛𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥
𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖎𝖘 𝖔𝖇𝖛𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘𝖑𝖞 𝖆𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖈, 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖋𝖔𝖔𝖑
𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒃𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒐𝒍
𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓸𝓫𝓿𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓵𝔂 𝓪𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓬, 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓸𝓸𝓵
𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕠𝕓𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕔, 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕠𝕠𝕝
𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚋𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚕
𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝖻𝗏𝗂𝗈𝗎𝗌𝗅𝗒 𝖺𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗍𝗂𝖼, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗈𝗈𝗅
𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗯𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗰, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗹
𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙗𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙘, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙡
𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘣𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘭
🇹🇭🇮🇸 🇮🇸 🇴🇧🇻🇮🇴🇺🇸🇱🇾 🇦🇪🇸🇹🇭🇪🇹🇮🇨, 🇾🇴🇺 🇫🇴🇴🇱
𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔦𝔰 𝔬𝔟𝔳𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔩𝔶 𝔞𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔠, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔣𝔬𝔬𝔩
ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴏʙᴠɪᴏᴜꜱʟy ᴀᴇꜱᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ, yᴏᴜ ꜰᴏᴏʟ
ₜₕᵢₛ ᵢₛ ₒbᵥᵢₒᵤₛₗy ₐₑₛₜₕₑₜᵢc, yₒᵤ fₒₒₗ
ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ᵒᵇᵛⁱᵒᵘˢˡʸ ᵃᵉˢᵗʰᵉᵗⁱᶜ, ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒᵒˡ

there. thank me later fools.

pt. ii coming soon [cause you're obviously waiting for it]

― ᶘ ͡°ᴥ ͡°ᶅ

how was that? pretty aesthetic *jabs ribs* eh? eh, eh, eh? i know, i know i'm great.

i also realized this section is kinda like an author's note. but this entire book is also kinda like a drunk author's note?