Olivia's Diary

I See You

October 2020,

I was feeling really good until mom said she wanted to "talk". If it will get me out of here fine but if not I'm dreading it already. Some art has come out of this though, inspiration for a tattoo, a picture of Nurse Joy, a girl slowly dropping the chains surrounding her....insecurity, fear, anxiety, shame, and yeah that really speaks to me. Olivia is interrupted when she hears a knock at the door. "Come in" she says. It's Laura; she walks towards Olivia's desk and takes a seat.

"Hey honey, look I know I am the last person you probably want to deal with right now but I really want to process this whole thing out. what you did has so many consequences." Olivia rolls her eyes, "yeah it does mom but there were also consequences if nothing was done. I don't want to sit on 'what if's' when it comes to justice. I don't want to wonder if that could have been me or worse if that could have been Spencer. I don't want to wonder how many more videos, and names it will take. Look at this mom. Olivia plays a clip from the outcry of Crenshaw from seeing the video, you can hear the sounds of fear, agony, and defeat of another death. a bystander speaks "my life, Tamika's life is not a price tag, we are so much more valuable than that."

Laura sheds a tear as the video ends and Olivia rubs her shoulder. Laura starts to talk again, "look I am upset just like you, I don't want people dying unnecessarily , nor do I want injustice, but there is still a process. One that you cost me, and one that now has me on administrative leave. We are lucky they are not putting you in any trouble right now." Laura pacing trying to calm back down. "I had a talk with Grace." Olivia looking bewildered, "you did?" "yes I did and it made me realize that I lacked the compassion I really needed. I understand why you leaked the video Liv, but because of the administrative leave you are still grounded. I think you need some time to really think some things through, and talk some things out so I am going to see if your sponsor can come by the house okay?" Olivia a little relieved but still upset looks up at her mom. "Okay, I'm sorry mom I just could not live with the guilt."

Laura leaves the room and as she exits Jordan enters. "Hey liv, how'd that go?" Jordan says as he sits down. "It went exactly how you see it I am still grounded just like you." Jordan looks down. "Well I may have a way you can get out of here," Jordan makes a smirk face with a mischievous smile. "I don't even know If I want to hear what you have planned." Jordan laughs, "oh yes you do, if you wanna see Spencer you do." Olivia looking side-eyed, "I'm listening." "okay so Crenshaw has a game tonight, just see if you can go to the game with dad. You can sit in the stands but also still see Spencer too." Olivia smiles, "okay but that's actually genius, I guess I can try it, it won't hurt." Jordan says "and best brother award goes to...." Olivia stops him, "hold your horses Jordan it has to work first." Jordan whispers "Jordan Baker."

-------Crenshaw----------

Olivia is in the car with Coach Baker as they are headed to the game. At first it's pretty silent in the car until Billy clears his throat and starts talking with his infamous look. "Liv, you holding up alright? I want you to know I love you and I want what's best for you. I know I don't always know what that is but your mom tries to pick up those pieces as well." Olivia looks at her dad. "I know dad, it's okay, I'm working on it, I just need you guys to be around more okay?" Billy nods, "well we are here now in the car, how about you pop on some tunes." Billy starts snapping and moving his head. Olivia "oh no, please don't say pop some tunes anymore." Olivia turns on some music and smiles, she was glad to have this talk with her dad and as they were pulling up to the parking lot of the field all she could think about was seeing Spencer.

Olivia starts to head towards the home crowd stands which is almost full after the homecoming win boosted the spirit of Crenshaw High. She decides to sit up high so she can have all the looks she wants without being seen (or so she thinks). Just two bleachers down Dillon looks up and sees Olivia. Dillon waves at her which catches Ms. Grace 's attention. She gives it a minute or two and then she steps up toward Olivia. Olivia is so nervous she starts rubbing her hands together. Ms. Grace, noticing, says "I come in peace," with her famous smile. Olivia says "Hi Ms. Grace, I just want to say I'm sorry for what I asked Spencer to do for me, I wasn't thinking straight, I'm so sorry." Grace says. "look baby I understand, you were going through it at that moment, it was wrong, but we all make mistakes and I talked with Billy when he was looking for you. It's gonna be okay. I want you to know something......, whenever I feel like I'm about to go down, I stop, pause, and think about who it is going to affect, it's a principal I live by, now I just gotta get that through to you and Spencer. "Grace makes a matter of fact face then smiles.

Olivia unsure what to think, just says what's on her heart. "I feel so bad about that. Spencer is my best friend I never want to hurt him, now I hurt my mom by putting out that video of the body cam footage when all I wanted was to get justice for Tamika's family." Grace a little saddened rubs her shoulder. "I know Olivia, your mom told me. We had a long talk yesterday. You remind me of a little firecracker." Olivia takes it in, then speaks. "I just get so passionate you know." Grace nods "you bet I know, you remind me of me when I was your age." Olivia looks shocked, "I do?" Grace smiling, "yes, I was ready to do anything to help, and make an impact, but again I had to remember the principal I just shared with you because my parents would cut into me otherwise." Olivia nods, "I'm glad you came up." Grace thinks and smiles, "I'm glad I did too! Come down and sit with Dillon and I, you don't have to hide (Laughing)." Olivia takes her up on her offer and the three of them sit and watch the game. Crenshaw is up 21 to 7 and Spencer has two touchdowns. He's on the sideline at the moment when he notices Olivia sitting with his mom and Dillon. Spencer thinks, "oh snap, why is Liv here? and why is she sitting with my mom??."

-----Liv's diary Entry-----

Tonight was amazing! Having that talk with Ms. Grace made me feel good, I felt alive again being outside and just having fun living in the moment. I think I'm going to do that more often. Spencer looked so good on the field, hopefully when things die down we can meet up. I wonder what he's doing right now. Olivia rubs the necklace her gave her in her hands as she lays on the bed writing. I'm glad the air is cleared between Ms. Grace and I.....she just doesn't know how  much I care about her son :). I think I do owe Jordan that best brother award after all.